Dear Girija Fierce:

You are welcome. Asparagus is not necessary for a low carb diet, but it is the second lowest vegetable in carbs/calories, right after lettuce.

“I’m always afraid that a serious mental illness is around the corner. Even my great grandfather was apparently mentally ill” – babies are not born with mental illnesses such as OCD, bipolar or schizophrenia. Children who are repeatedly exposed to aggression at home, verbal or physical, become very anxious. Over a long time, the unrelieved, persistent anxiety progresses into this or that mental illness or illnesses, made worse when the child becomes adult and proceeds to live a dysfunctional adult life. Aggression in childhood is very, very common, so it’s not statistically surprising to me that your great grandfather and your father were mentally ill.

“I don’t want to trigger it” -by “it” you mean the mental illness in your family. There is no family-illness to be triggered (says I!)- aggression in the home is so very common that people get sick, that’s all it is.

“I am just afraid, because my dad’s treatment has been so bad. I don’t know if the treatment was bad, or he was not really cooperating with treatment” – so you have absolutely no reliable information in regard to how psychiatric medications affected your father!

“I’d rather call myself Girija Fierce” – I’ll take Fierce to mean Strong and Powerful. Let’s develop this a bit… Fear and Fierce both start with an F. Question is how to move from Fear to Fierce. In your most recent post, you mentioned fear three times: “I’m always afraid… I am just afraid… I am afraid“. When you are afraid, you shrink, you get smaller and weaker, sort of hoping that life will pity you and not make things worse for you. But really, it doesn’t work for anyone long-term!!! To be Fierce, you have to do the opposite of shrinking and appearing weak; you have to EXPAND and appear STRONG. And it is possible for you to make this shift.

“On a different note, I need advice on how to be truly unbothered by other people. There are times when a senior at work laughs on a condescending way if I make a mistake” – on the same note as the above, this is an opportunity for you to Practice Fierce: next time she laughs at you, stand straight, look boldly into her eyes, and say in a strong voice something like (you choose your words): I will appreciate it if you stop laughing in this condescending way when I make a mistake. I am sure that you wouldn’t like it if someone did that to you when you make a mistake, and you do make mistakes, you know that, right? 

anita