Dear Anita,

Thank you so much for your time, effort and reflections. Everything you wrote is true.  I feel that I forgave my parents, and see that they were both hurt children themselves.  They were very young too when they married, and had children.

Despite forgiving them, I still often feel less worthy and loveable than other people. I wish I knew how to rid myself of that feeling.

Hanging out to receive love is not am option, was never an option, but I’m now much more aware of it. Well, not from an intimate relationship anyway.

I’m trying to work out where to start to make myself a better person.  I honestly do have so much to be grateful for.  Since 2018, I have a much better job in an organisation I live working for and I earn a lot more money. I’m not rich, but I can pay all of my bills with some left over although I do need to budget better.

I have a good relationship with my adult son, 2 of my sister’s and my elderly mother who is now in f/t care. My older sister BTW, retired early from a well-paid govt job after accusations against her for bullying and abusive behaviour. I live states away from them now, but there have continued to be problems with other family members and her abusive behaviour.  I stay away from her though am not in conflict, but I just cannot stand the drama she continually creates. My son wants nothing to do with her.  She has been damaged too by the upbringing though in different ways to me. She does have some good qualified fitness though, and did an amazing job with her own 2 children.

I have my own modest though lively little home, and I have 2 small senior dogs who hardly leave my side, and bring me a lot of happiness.

I also have a wonderful female friend who lives in the next town, and we look out for each other, helping each other out on occasion though neither of us expect a it. She has turned out to be a wonderful person and true friend.

I get along well with all of the people I work with, and despite tiredness, do look forward to work.

I’m forced also now to take better care if myself due to what looks like the recurrence of cancer, though in the past, it has been treatable with regular checks, medical procedures and surgery on occasions.

I have developed some other health concerns as well, but these will likely be taken care of with lifestyle changes and medications.  I am grateful to live in a country which has a public health care system so my hospitalization, treatments and medications will all be taken care of.

As I said, I’m not really sure where to start in working on myself. Perhaps reading more articles and posts here might give me some guidance, but I would be grateful for suggestions.

Thank you very much again.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 9 months ago by HoneyBlossom.