Thanks very much for your reply Pink. Regarding my husband, ideally, he could have talked to me about it. I tried talking to him about it, but he flatly denied it and turned blame on me. Then evidence presented itself. He lied through his teeth and told me I had a filthy mind, and that I was lucky to have him because nobody wanted me, including my own family.  I found out many years later that while he was saying these things to me, he had been in “committed” relationships with men – more than one he was besotted with.  He used to belittle my appearance constantly though especially after I left him, people of both sexes, including strangers, would remark that I was very attractive. Of course, it’s in the eyes of the beholder. My dear friend tells me that these last 2 years, I have aged a lot – since that relationship broke up and I have felt very sad a lot if the time.

Since I started addressing my medical issues and trying to take better care of myself with lifestyle choices and medications, I’m starting to look improved.

Re the mental illness of family members, since my adulthood, my mother made numerous serious suicide attempts ending up in ICU.  She was in an institution for 1 year and had shock treatment which didn’t seem to work, and it has caused some brain damage. She is now a tiny frail lady.  My father died quite young.

I will take up your suggestion of trying to be bit more open and connect with people, and see how it goes.  Thank you.💜💜💜💜