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Hi HoneyBlossom
How to meditate? I m sure if you search just on this site alone you will find many methods and advice Better then I could give and each person is different so like all things the first step is to start. There is no wrong way. Actually that is one peace of advice I could offer – try not to label, measure judge… your attempts to meditate as that will most certainly increase the monkey mind – Trying to quite ones inner thoughts can amplify them, the more we try to stop them the more we unintentionally cling to them. The intention is to notice the thoughts and let them pass without attaching to them. (Some might say the intention is to not have any thoughts but that too is a thought and if attached to, well your back to were you started)
There is also contemplation which is similar but a little different then meditation. In contemplation you might find a quite space and contemplate this sadness you experience. This is a heart exercise not a head one, more listening then filling the space with thoughts. A kind of silent “prayer” that is truly silent. No pleading, no hoping, no if only’s, just a listing to the heart.
I like your Avatar name ‘HoneyBlossom’ Why did you choose it?
If you found a quite space, got comfortable, and breathed in and out those words Honey, Blossom, Honey, Blossom and then sat in contemplative silence for a while , listening, what do you feel?
What does your naming of yourself say about your true self?
Could you bring that feeling with you as you engage with the stuff of life?