Hello Anita,

I am feeling right now that I am becoming well.  I have had tomes of feeling this in the last, but I think it was always when I was in a new relationship with a man.

Despite the medical issues and not being in relationship, and knowing that I may never be, I feel happy right now – a type of contented happiness.

I know that it’s largely because I have been able to share my true self here and experience acceptance, and receive sound advice.

Through our the days, I have been envisaging a warm green light healing my heart, and I v want to learn to do more meditations.

I knowcIm way too busy with work, and hope at some time to be able to take a holiday, and not have to work so many 12 hour shifts and sleepovers, but it’s a what I have to to do right now for financial reasons.

I am aware that I have felt resentment and indignation towards G, the wealthy farmer I was involved with because he could not live me.  He didn’t offer mn e anything teal or worthwhile.  It was definitely in my interests to move on from me.  After I told him I was done, and blocked him, he was texted me months later asking if we were still friends.  I didn’t reply.  I wasn’t going down that or any other oath with him – I had done that before, and each time I got more hurt until I just couldn’t t a me it any more and I just went numb.  I heard recently that he is “going out with somebody knew”. I felt my ego responding inside, and thats all it was.

I was so desperate for love that I “fell in love” more than once without getting to know people well enough, and finding out if we indeed were compatible and if there were worthwhile relationship qualities possible. I really don’t ever want to do that again.

I’m at home tonight.  Dogs are on the bed with me.  I’m having a facial and massage at a salon in the morning. Then I have a vet appointment and back to work Friday.  I’m so appreciative of the time to be able to sleep and relax.  I’m so grateful for my dogs, my friend Rosemarie, for you and this forum, my home and SO many more things.

I hope it will be okay for me to continue v to post and ask questions even though I’m feeling so much better.

Thank you Anita, for all you give – your kindness and intelligence and empathy.  I hope your day has been good.  Thank you also Pink and Peter. 🙂