Hi Anita,

Thanks so much for this analysis. The current state? Well, I haven’t spoken to my sibilings since 2012–except for a few sporadic times, nothing notable except the incident in 2018 you are referring to. As for my parents, since 2012, I’ve gradually lessened contact, spoken sporadically. I spoke to my mother in January, and I just felt that was the end for me.

Since 2012, I’ve built a new life for myself from scratch. But I still have this lingering pain–like right in my heart–and I feel like it’ll be with me forever. Like some part of me will always feel rejected, and unworthy of love–even though intellectually I know that my mother and older sister suffer from some kind of undiagnosed mental illness, which my other sibling refuses to see. How do you get out of pain, Anita? How do I turn the page, I mean REALLY turn the page, so that all of me looks at my past with empathy and forgiveness?  I know that’s the only way to be free, but dang it, it is really hard.