per the OP… who never responded to anyones’ posts~

After my awakening, I was kinda clueless what to do about the suffering associated with it – the Ego fought back with creating an identity around the subject “life was pointless.” Taking things personal does not make sense to me anymore. That is probably the reason that everything I tried in order to control the process,  like exercising, meditation felt useless. It made no sense to “get better”.

This is the kernel …and the proof, that absolutely nothing is gained by complete perfect enlightenment. If something were gained, it wouldn’t be enlightenment. Actually, that the palpable takeaway is a feeling of loss, proves one’s authentic experience beyond the created, the incremental— by a selfless absorption into nonorigination, hence its selfless (objective) knowledge.

Nevertheless, of all those who see Essence according to their inherent spiritual potential, even of those whose powerful experience constitutes the Absolute, and know that limit, and witness the stages prior to the dichotomy of the creative (Change), also realize that reality has never fallen into the creative; that awareness as your own mind right now has never moved from where it hovers, on the brink of going into action in perpetuity~ what would one hope to fix? It is already thus.

The ancients have all admonished those who, having stumbled into such a wonder through no effort or will on their part, to take up the path of self-refinement at once, or else squander an opportunity of inconceivable proportions. That “…ego fought back with creating an identity around the subject “life was pointless”, constitutes the work of gradual practice in the aftermath of the sudden. It is clear that any notion of depression, self-pity, apathy, malaise, melancholy, et al, are all just the psychological acrobatics of ego unable to hide— yet hiding none the less by insinuating itself as depression, self-pity, apathy, malaise, melancholy, and on and on. It continues to masquerade under any pretext or rationale in the face of its great lie.

The work of self-refinement in the aftermath of the sudden is the work of a lifetime with the caveat that Real Knowledge of selfless nonorigination beyond any notion of personal absolute identity is a potential deal-breaker for our friend ego. Taoism says that the first trip is short (has an ending): this is the sudden. It says that the second trip is long (is endless): this is gradual practice in the aftermath of selfless sudden realization where it becomes apparent that there is nothing to know, there is no one knowing in terms of awareness being void of voidness constituting the nature of awake, being a selfless inconceivable capacity never having begun. This is who we are. This is the basic experience. It is not special, per se; simply uncommon and beyond convention. What is necessary, over a course of years (Gautama Buddha was no different), is to quell one’s biases and inclinations to arrive at a point where one simply accepts one’s function, takes the forward step, and shares oneself freely with open hands.

In the aftermath of witnessing the Great Cycle, it should be expected that one’s return to “normal” would seem impossible. But normal is simply seeing what is as is without interjecting the psychological momentum of one’s lifelong biases and inclinations relative to the pattern-awareness being the false identity of the knower, thinker and liver of life. It is possible to go through life’s karmic situational evolutions without bringing up self-reifying tags relative to one’s personality identifications— and that’s not just after the sudden. Why? Enlightenment is already your own mind right now. It’s not a different mind: it’s just not your mind. It’s you, you are not it. Just don’t use your mind. Not using your mind is your own mind right now without entertaining notions of the knower, thinker and liver of life.

The reason it is so, not to mention that such is possible to carry out naturally in the midst of delusion, is that such is natural. It’s just not expressed relative to the person, or anyone else’s knowledge. Even so, this is carried out in the open because awareness is already impersonal, objective immediate knowledge. Potential is awareness being itself. There is no cause. That awareness being itself as oneself is ever-ready potential awakened to reality all at once without having to begin. Just this doesn’t refer to mystical experience or its aftermath relative to recalcitrant ego-tantrums admitted as evidence by the OP, it is so by virtue of having a body. The spiritual function not being the person, per se, is just the way it is and no one knows why.

Self refinement, whether practiced gradually before or after the sudden makes no difference. Simply failing to exercise self-reflective consciousness unawares is self-refinement. Following thoughts unawares is delusion. Mind is one. The light of Creation is karmic bondage; turning the light around, self-reification becomes selfless wonder on the spot. The light is one.

Selfless authentic practice is carried out unbeknownst to anyone by seeing reality by virtue of delusion. I hope it is obvious that selflessness has no moralistic connotations relative to self and other, good and bad, right and wrong, or even before and after. Buddhism calls such practice subtle spiritual adaption in mutual response. This means that one’s selfless adaption to conditions is precisely and naturally perfect accord with the situation according with the inherent potential of the situation itself. Discriminatory consciousness and deliberation relative to the person has no place to act. Seeing potential is immediate knowledge based on awareness void of personality distinctions. Obviously habit-energy’s psychological momentum based on ordinary necessarily functional pattern-consciousness is a hard nut to crack. The function itself is not faulty. Habituation to its use relative to the person to the exclusion of fluid, open awareness is where the fault lies. Ego isn’t the perpetrator. THERE IS NO PERPETRATOR. That’s why there is no “getting better.” What would there be to get better? The notion of suffering relative to the OP’s classification is just the ego-antics of the thieving impostor of all time expressing self-importance as self-pity.

Self refinement, either before or after the sudden, is a perpetual process of refining away the human mentality as it reverts to naturally serving one’s enlightening function which accords inherently with situational evolution throughout endless transformations. Just this is inconceivable accord in reality entering the profound mystery. By virtue of having a body, it’s not the person. How wonderful is that?

• This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by deci.