Dear Anita,

You can write on his thread, but only help him if he needs and wants help. If he doesn’t. Just let him be. I knew he had a thread on this forum after he deleted the earlier one but I did not try to read it earlier. I read it this time and I felt I shouldn’t have. The will to change or not… It is his choice. Your effort and words will do nothing to him if he himself never realises he did wrong.

I was good to him all the time, but he took me for granted because of it. I was good to him not because he is the only man alive nor that I can’t date around or can’t fool around, but the friendship between us was too strong and the fact that he shared his mind with only me and nobody else in the entire world- not his family and not his friends… made me always feel that I should be kind to this man, be his friend like he has been mine.

But that does not give anybody the right to play with my emotions, my time and my self esteem. I wanted to see that we had this relationship living in the same city, would it work or not and Oh My God Anita, it was such a splendid time. We are really compatible. But if he did not understand that then perhaps he will never understand anything good that happens to him.

As for myself, I will spend the upcoming months realizing my dream of workcations , enjoying my youth by eating good, dressing up well(I am already doing that now-spending my hard earned money and not my parent’s) and writing whenever I can(I found a story- a very relatable one- I need some research as it is too real but I work on it everyday so that I don’t let it go). All good things are happening now, my best friends are moving in the same city that I am in and I know I have people to go out with whenever I don’t feel that great about myself. I think I will keep marriage on the backburner for sometime. Even my parents understand that I am not in the mental space to think of anyone else so they don’t talk about it although I haven’t told them about the cheating part.

I believe in Karma, so I will let the universe do their thing while I do mine.

Also, absolutely don’t regret being unkind. I will rather put it as you had a different perspective to things and not unkind- but even that perspective helped me in understanding every aspect of the matters I was facing. You have been my saviour and friend since past 5 years and although there are gaps in between. I always find my way back to you. You are a gem!

P.S.-You can talk to him if you want to help him but it is solely your decision.