hi its me again. i know its been a while amd so much has changed. this year has been the biggest rollercoaster of my life yet. i lost my precious cat beggining of this year like a week after new years. my bestfriend in the whole world decided that i was no good in her life so she just cut me off without am explanation and thats been pretty rough on me. like really rough. she had me questioning anythinf and everything about life. my relationships with others, my attitude towards my enviroment. she pretty much made me think i was the whole problem in the equation. a few months passed since than but the pain of her leaving doesnt seem to fade away she literally ripped my life apart. then in may i broke up with my boyfriend whom i mentioned as someone i cherished. that hit me like a bus. he was the main support on my life in that time after my bestfriends farewell to me. and when he was gone too all i felt was how alone i was for a while. thankfully i had my current best friemd and many others with me so i could at least tey to heal. the weather has been sunny its hot like bery hot. for the first time in my life i find the summer weather suffocating and isolating which surprises me because i used to be a biggg summer girl. i am in year twelwe. im a senior now and that saddens me deeply. the thought of seperating from my beautiful school ( you shpuld look it up its Beşiktaş Anadolu Lisesi) my beautiful friends that supported me through this year its just too painful. i really embraced the highschool life all the drama and all and im leaving in less than a year. simce its my senior year theres this aggravating pain and burden because of college entrance exams. i literally am studyinf my ass off like 8 hours a day type of madness. the burfen and stress is too hard to explain and talk about so im passing this topic. also another big thing-its actually probably tje most importany one- my dad has cancer. he already had three surgeries this year and thats  the furthest of details i can pour out without having a breakdpwn. i dont know your name your age anythinf about you but it seems that when im in my lowest i remember you. you are familiar. thank you for being here and have ♡ a great day,week, lifr <3