hello

i have been feeling the same way
when i was 19 someone asked me some question about a girl and i got so stressed about the question and asked myself if i am attrackted to weman, and didnt tell it to anybody for a very long time and sufferd from disturbing thoughts. all of my life i was intrested in man, i wasnt attracted to some of the man i have been with and i had the horrible qustion like maybe im not attracted to man? and it hit me now again at 25.. my concerns are that im not really intrested in man and i live in dinail.. i get aroused by fentesizing about women sex more than woman and man, when i hear about somone famous telling his gay/shes a lesbian i want to hear more and very intrested..

i dont really want to live or fall in love or be with a woman, i was never intresten in a real woman , but having these fantasis + some guys i slept with that i wasnt attracted to + wanting to know about gay/lesbian people and “relate” to them makes me feel like im in denail and that deep inside i want to live with a woman, and i dont want that to be the truth.
i read somtimse that all people question their sexuallity, but my ex boyfriends was so attrackted to me it is not possible for me to think that they have these kind of inner questions, which makes me feel more stressed.
i see many people related to this thread, i wonder if they still have these questions/anxiety + all the media is pro-gay that it is more understanable and relatable but im not sure if i relate because i might be attracted to woman or because it just is relatable .

i sufferd from disturbing thoughts latly. tried psychotherapy and having possitive thoughts but i cant live like this knowing that not all people have these questions and are super confinedt that they are straight, and seeing people suddenly coming out at 35 40 50 .. i feel i need ansuers or maybe sign from god

somtimse i get panic attacks which i never had before

please help me figure this out once and for all and live happy and without these toughts all the time cause i want to have normal life , thank you  , RO