Thank you for your honesty.  I am grateful for your wisdom. The revelation that H was not interested in me ONLY happened after she started seeing F. She had been with a different partner up until the day I left town for the summer, so I never imposed my feelings on her. I did tell friends how I felt, but not her.  You are right no one had to ask me permission… I just would have liked a warning before I walked into this after a summer break.  H KNEW it would hurt me… expressed that to mutual friends, but said she didn’t want to tell me before I came back. I feel that is a betrayal.  She knew she could do something to soften the blow and didnt