Dear Addy,

thank you for you empathy, I appreciate it.

Maybe yeah I guess… and also I felt like she’s just doing too much for me, So I didn’t felt it right and I felt pressured and after that I started to question myself if I really love her.. So that’s why

So yeah with my 1st girlfriend I wasn’t very vulnerable

Right… so it seems to me that she felt inferior in your relationship, specially since you’ve never or rarely shared about your own weaknesses and vulnerability. So you were the “perfect guy”, and she probably felt inadequate. She was trying to impress you, was doing things that you liked and was probably afraid to tell you that she doesn’t really enjoy those activities that much.

You say you also felt pressured because she did too much for you. So you had an impression that she is trying too much, trying to be someone else, not being authentic. I guess her reason was that she was afraid of rejection, so she tried to mold herself into something she isn’t, so you wouldn’t reject her.

But you’ve noticed that she’s not really enjoying the activities that you enjoy, but is only pretending. You’ve noticed that she’s not honest with you, that she’s faking it, and not being authentic. And you didn’t like that about her. So you stopped being attracted to her, and eventually left her. Does this roughly describe what happened?

with later two girlfriends yes.. but like after spending few months…

So you were more vulnerable with your later two girlfriends. You did share some of your “imperfections” and self-doubts. And how did they respond to that?

You said that you start feeling trapped very soon after the initial elation about the girl. So when you shared those weaknesses or yours, being authentic, several months into the relationship – at that point did you already start feeling trapped in the relationship?