dear Anita

of the possible sources of love in your childhood, he was the best (or the least bad). When a person is thirsty enough, he/ she will drink water that is a bit muddy, if that’s the only water available. I think that the end of the era is about you preparing to quench your thirst with water that is not muddied by lies and back stabbing. when we are child we are told that the people who have our best interests are our parents and nobody gonna be that way , thats why we have only one of them and it makes it very hard to believe that they can be selfish and self serving , i dont deny the fact that my parents put a lot of efforts on improving their childrens life , but i cant forgive them to be so nasty to us when we disobeys . i believe the main reason was making themselves happy and if we succeed that would make them look good .(my mom was complaining to a relative about me not doing a trivial thing that she would want me to do so she could dissociate herself , but if  i did something good it was her achievement not mine , i wasnt  a person as  my siblings. other peoples opinion mattered more than our feeling , so they could lie and mistreat us as long as it served them , in my fathers case , he couldnt hurt her as much as me because she could divorced him , but i couldn`t .it is so nasty to view your children like that .

do you believe the only people who have our best interests are our parents ?i guess not , i met people who were selfless and kind , there are not many . but still .

trusting yourself is definitely a cause for celebration!!! this is the true self confidence , based on past experiences and that costs a fortune

 if you no longer have mud in your water, you can drink it without caution and fear. Imagine that…? i cant but maybe the peace im feeling right now ?

Farnaz