Dear Hello:

You are welcome and congratulations for signing a new lease for next month, Jan 15, 2023!

When I read of his response (“He cried and said don’t do this, and proceeded to spend the next couple of weeks ‘wooing’ me – telling me how perfect I am, how much he loves me, etc. etc.“) and before I read the rest of your post, I thought to myself: I wonder if he is concerned with not having access to your money once you separate from him.

After thinking the above, I read this: “I make 80% of our income and he has always spent way too much money and been quite irresponsible with it… he only makes 30k a year at the most“.

“I reiterated that this was happening and I had found a place, etc. He asked if I loved him anymore and I took the opportunity to tell him that I don’t have anything left… I told him that… I also took the opportunity to mention that I’ve now officially kindly asked you to remove the tinder app..”-

– the reason I boldfaced the above is to discourage you from telling him anything anymore: he is not honest with you, and therefore, there is no reasonable hope for an honest conversation with him. Therefore, whatever you tell him is not likely to promote an honesty that does not exist; instead, it is likely to be used against you: if he can use what you tell him against you… he probably will.

“I’ve learned this is how a narcissist works now and I wish I was more aware in the beginning. I researched the term ‘love bombing’ and wow, he fits the description perfectly”“- make practical use of this understanding of him by … not giving him any additional opportunity to take advantage of you, and by protecting yourself from him in any and every way that is possible for you.

“I’m focused entirely on moving forward and very much looking forward to the other side of this“- excellent, I hope the other side happens sooner than later!

anita