Dear Tee,
I’m glad you’re doing well
And yes, people around me does makes me feel like psychotherapy isn’t normal so I’m hesitant for that. I apologize if it showed up in different mannered way

In that environment, surrounded by such high expectations and such low tolerance for making a mistake, you put yourself (and were put by your parents) under a lot of pressure to perform. And you also adopted the belief that you’re not good enough if you’re not scoring all As all the time. Only total perfection would have been good enough, if that.

Over time, you’ve developed the inner critic, telling you that you’re a failure and not good enough. And so now, even though you’re doing considerably well and have professional success, you still can’t believe that you’re actually good enough. You still believe you’re that sloppy, underperforming boy who failed to reach perfection and failed to please his parents. A part of you still sees you as a failure. And as such, every success must be accidental – it’s not really your merit. Because in your own eyes, you’re not good enough.

That’s I think at the core of your imposter syndrome. And the way to treat is the same as treating your low self-esteem, perfectionism and other issues we’ve talked about so far. Change that internal talk, don’t listen to the inner critic, tell yourself kind, loving things. Tell yourself it’s okay to make mistakes. Tell yourself you’re good enough and worthy, even if you’ve made some mistakes in the past, and will still be making more mistakes in the future. We’re human, it’s in our nature to make mistakes.

You said well, and clear and I should remember this and work on the “Inner self critic”

empathy is when you don’t pretend that you understand the other person’s point of view, but that you truly try to understand it and put yourself in their shoes. The way you phrased it (it makes them think you’re on their side) can be interpreted as if you’re not really on their side, but only pretend to be, so you can build trust. Just wanted to clarify this – in case there was a misunderstanding.

Yes I know I got it