Hey Tee,

How are you doing?

Guess who had their first therapy season recently? That’s right, Me!

She’s a Psychotherapist + Prana Healer + Chakra Balance Helper

And she did kind of talked and suggested things like you did (Are you in psychology field too?)

And I told her for the things I’m working on, She said I’m on the right direction

I talked about the childhood trauma and feeling not good enough etc.

She said for that I’ll have to work on my root chakra.

Also work on surrendering

And gave me homework

List of things I really love about myself

Affirmations in front of mirror – I feel awkward doing that

Spend time with myself and ask Who am I as a person? – Because when she asked I said I said I don’t know someone who’s just figuring out life

LAM chanting – It’s like hummin sound while meditating. Because I also told her that I have mild hypothyroidism so because it’s mild I was ignoring this for years but apparently it does have mental effects like forgetfulness, fatigue, mental slowness, inattention, and emotional lability (I Googled after she suggested so) which I do experience more or less so I’ll have to do medical check-up for hypothyroidism as well

Another therapy season will be in 4 weeks (Long I know)

 it’s interesting how me mentioning “nasty or demanding people” made you mention your parents. That’s the truth about them, or at least it was in the past, wasn’t it?

In the past, Yes

Though you did say a while ago that they still sometimes compare you with other young people in your place of origin, but that they are mostly pleased with the line of work you’re in, right?

Yes they’re happy with it. and in this case they didn’t compared or did what other parents (I mean my relatives) did. So my cousin wanted to pursue music or agriculture but his father didn’t let him do it so he’s studying dentistry now.. I do feel for him whenever we talk.. But yet still I took a wrong decision for my education and after years I get it right

One interesting thing he mentions at the end is a Bible verse that goes something like “when we were children, we were under guardians and managers”. Those “guardians and managers” were our parents. But that’s only while we were children. As adults, our parents don’t have (or shouldn’t have) the role of our guardians and managers – we as adults are responsible for managing our lives. So it’s clear that the role of parents changes, and it’s only natural that it should change, once we grow up.

That’s really insightful! thanks for sharing this and I’ll watch the video

Definitely… but what does it mean for you to be worthy of respect? Does it mean to say Yes to everything requested of you, indiscriminately? And then maybe fail to deliver? To me, I prefer integrity. For example, if the persons says they’ll do something, they’ll do it. But they don’t just agree to anything – they estimate what and how much they can deliver, and then they do it, as promised. You can count on those people. And another aspect of integrity is when the person has empathy for their subordinates – when they take their team into account. They don’t overpromise because they know it will hurt their team.

So to me, a person worthy of respect in a corporate setting would be someone who is 1) reliable and trust-worthy (and therefore, has their supervisor’s trust), and also 2) empathic and takes into consideration the well-being of his team (and therefore is respected and cherished by their team). So they are respected in both directions – both by those above them and by those beneath them on the ladder…. I don’t know, at least this is how I imagine a perfect boss would be 

Hmm I think you’re right about this. In my head I was like Saying Yes and following orders are what I should do. But as a leader that’s not right but from this I found that I need to work on my “Speak Up”- related to childhood trauma lol
Because most of the time I prefer to obey and say yes to the elder, And at work as right now the thing is that I’m the youngest manager here (lot of the people who work under me are also older than me) so.. I think this is another thing I have to work on… so It’s all just making sense now

It’s always good to start small and practice on small things, of no big relevance. How did your boss (or the person you said No to) take it?

Yes I think I do need to grow my courage part and be more experimentative.

And he said it’s okay and didn’t ague about it. So I guess I was just overthinking and just afraid of saying NO or Speak Up

Alright if there’s no obligation. You can explain that you would like to create as much as possible of a positive, encouraging atmosphere for everyone on the team, specially for the new members. Maybe you can encourage the older members to be helpful to the novices, and you can also tell the novices that they can always talk to you if they have a problem with something – that you are there for them.

Thanks this will help me for scripting and presenting to them in a better way

As for promoting vulnerability, I am thinking it wouldn’t be a bad idea to enable your team members to give honest feedback (if you’re not already doing it) and voice their concerns, if they have any. I am not sure what is the company’s policy on that, but giving people the opportunity for feedback is super important. If they feel safe enough, they can speak up at a meeting, or if not, you can set up a box where they can throw in anonymous suggestions.

Wow that’s an excellent Idea! no matter what happens, I’ll try to implement this.

With anonymous feedback others would feel more safer and not feel like attacked

Yes, but it’s also good you’re already applying some of the concepts in practice, at your work place. I admire you for your expediency and initiative.

Yes but you helped me unfolding and we’re still unfolding things so I’m kind of proud of myself that I did took actionable steps but also big thanks to you. I really appreciate your support. Not to mention you’re literally teaching me how to be a better leader
(So which arise a question Are you also a leader? – only answer if you’re comfortable sharing otherwise it’s okay)

That’s probably the part of you who feels not good enough, worrying if you have achieved enough… Well for him, you’ll never be good enough… but I can tell you, as a non-biased bystander, that just in these past few months you’ve achieved many things, first in your self-awareness and willingness to challenge yourself and try new things… I mean, you’re scoring very high in learning soft skills.  So give yourself some credit, give yourself a pat on the back – you’re doing great, just by this little that I am seeing!

Thanks again for showing me the things that I wasn’t able to see.