Dear SereneWolf,

thank you for your best wishes! I too wish you a happy, healthy and successful (yet serene 🙂 ) New Year!!

I guess but I don’t want this fear because it’s limiting fear

Yes, it is limiting… fear of your parents’ judgment makes you anxious and drains your energy, as you’ve once said. I think the only antidote to that fear is to tell yourself that even if your parents judge you, you won’t judge yourself. In other words, to have compassion for yourself, even if your parents don’t.

This is so true because of my impatience

Right.. so your inner critic took over the judgemental attitude of your parents and is pushing you to perform faster, better…. An image comes to mind of you being like a jockey, pushing and hitting your horse to run faster and faster… and being angry at him if he cannot run so fast.

Again right but I talked about this with a friend and she told me that striving to be better ain’t wrong just being self-compassionate along is what should I do…

That’s absolutely true – striving to be better isn’t wrong in itself. But you yourself admitted that you push yourself hard because you’re impatient. Which means you’re not compassionate with yourself when it comes to learning new skills and your job performance in general.

Hmm for this I’d say that I’m not sure. But could be the root cause because Since teenage Most of the time my expectations are higher from myself first.

You’ve moved away from home when you were 16. Maybe you wanted to move away from your parents’ relentless judgment… But the thing is that by that time your inner critic had already soaked in their judgments, and so you’ve become your own worst critic. Even if your parents are (or seem) much milder nowadays, it is you who is pushing yourself hard…