Dear Hello,

I am glad the move went well and that you’re slowly settling in. Also, that you had help with the move and getting things in order at your new place.

As my daughters and I get into a routine, we are all realizing just how much more freedom we have to do things. He monopolized almost every aspect of my life, down to when I showered at night.

That sounds like he had you under complete control! I can imagine what a relief it is to be free now, without worrying he might criticize your every move.

I’ve been educating myself most days as well on recovering from being in a relationship with a NPD spouse. I can tell that I have suffered trauma emotionally and will take time to acknowledge this and let that heal.

I can imagine it was a traumatic experience, and you need to process it still. So far, you were in a sort of emergency mode, solely focused on moving out, which you’ve completed with an amazing speed and very successfully! But as things begin to settle down, you’ll have more time to think about it all, and it’s normal that those thoughts and feelings will come up – of the emotional abuse and suffering that you were exposed to. That’s all very painful and it will take time to heal.

I’m going to give it a few months, but I suspect I might need to see a therapist for a few months to sort through my experience.

Yes, I think it’s a good idea. You were under a terrible pressure these past 4 years, being constantly criticized, controlled, manipulated… it took a toll for sure, and you’ll need to decompress, so to speak. It’s no small thing having being subject to narcissistic abuse… It’s wonderful that you’ve freed yourself from it, but now you’ll need to take the stress out of your system and be truly free from it mentally and emotionally too.

I am rooting for you, and I am confident you’ll succeed to heal completely!