Dear SereneWolf,

I am a bit better, thank you.

I’m still on the last interview stage. So let’ see.
These days I’m feeling little burned out, yet I still have to prepare for interview and everything because this is good opportunity.

Wish you luck with the interview! What do you think causes your burnout? Just the preparation for the interview or you’re stressed about other things at work?

Yes right but like you said around right people.

Yes, for sure.

You see it’s not that easy for me because I’d feel like she’s judging for wrong reasons and not actually understanding me and if I explain her in details it could just make things more uncomfortable.

So, in the imaginary scenario I’ve mentioned earlier (where you don’t want to admit you miss her texts but you make sarcastic remarks instead) – what do you think she would judge you for if you admitted that you miss her texts?

So about the date, It was really good we actually spent more time together than we decided. Had a good coffee and went the near science museum. She was really talkative (Like I noticed before) But tbh I liked her energy and I was comfortable around her. Heck even I was talkative.

This sounds good! You felt comfortable around her, and she around you too, and you spent together more time than planned. You like that she is outgoing (She’s also outgoing which is good too.). But you also said something which could be both a positive and negative evaluation of her: She’s simple girl and avid reader and into romance novels a lot.

What do you mean by simple? She doesn’t talk about deeper topics but only about superficial stuff? Or she is easy to be around, not demanding, not judgmental – that kind of simple?

Now the “dating scenario” so even though next morning she texted me “ I had an amazing time together, we should do this again” and I said yeah me too. After that day I texted her but she was doing like one sentence answers.

So she expressed interest, she even took the initiative and texted you first. But then she started to reply with brief answers… and what happened in your mind and heart then? Have you concluded that she wasn’t interested and you decided to “play it cool”, i.e. act uninterested?

If so, then what happened is that you assumed something about her without asking (you assumed that she wasn’t interested), and then you reacted to that assumption of yours, by acting uninterested…  It all happened in your head, since you don’t really know what she thinks or feels about you…

And I was talking to my friend and she was like I have to play it cool and don’t seem needy. I mean just texting is needy? I don’t even wanna text anymore if she doesn’t want…so how’s that needy?

No, texting isn’t needy at all. If I were you, and I liked the girl, I would have actually called her… I think talking over the phone is a much better way to bond that texting. Unless you don’t feel comfortable talking on the phone, or you feel it’s too soon?

Another day she texted but it was my turn to “play it cool” and not give her much attention and replying late so yeah it’s still going on like that

Sorry about that. Yeah, those are the games we play, and they are exhausting. No wonder you feel it’s draining your energy (feels like too much work for me. And I don’t want my emotional energy drain that way).

I want to be straight-forward about it. But it doesn’t work that way I don’t know

Actually, it could be straightforward, but only if you stop playing games. Don’t listen to your friends’ advice, don’t play it “cool”, don’t assume things about the girl before asking her…. Communication is key – honest and open communication.

I think this could be a great opportunity to practice honest communication. You could actually tell her “hey I see you’re curt in your replies – is there something wrong?” Or, you could ask her “Can I call you?” Maybe it turns out she likes talking on the phone better. So the key would be to communicate, not to assume things…