Yeh I’m disappointed is an understatement. I feel really burnt and drained from all this. I really believe that she was being genuine and wanted to better herself. To me it is disgusting if she used that as a cop out of a relationship. Whether she was aware she was doing it or not.

She did tell me sometimes that I didn’t treat her how she wanted to be treated in certain moments. Almost as you are saying; love me how I want to be loved. That’s what it felt like on occasions. Again this just felt like an insecurity and low self esteem, I would always reassure her I wasn’t mistreating her.

It could very well be the reason of it was too painful for her me noticing her triggers rather than her wanting to better herself. Which is very heartbreaking. I definitely didn’t give her imperfect love. I probably loved her too much as I thought she was worthy but it ended up just hurting me in the end. I feel like she could have premeditating it since we did split plenty of times.

I read somewhere that some trauma victims go from relationship to relationship just to get that temporary feeling of being loved and comfort but they eventually leave. They cut ties because they want to be the one doing it and they feel in control when I’m reality they aren’t. They find out they can’t be vulnerable and opt out before their partner does. My ex I met very quickly after she left her ex, maybe this solidifies it. It definitely will if she has someone new in the next couple weeks. It’s quite sad if that’s the case as she doesn’t truly want to get to the root of her problem, I genuinely believed she did.

I didn’t feel as of though I was walking on eggshells but my friend told me from his point of view it sounded very toxic. I definitely felt as if I was putting a lot of work in and I think she may have thought she was putting all the work in. I remember her briefly mentioned something like that once.

I don’t think I would have sent the letter I probably would have just messaged her as now it may seem like I desperately want her when I only wanted to help and maybe in the future she would notice my efforts.

im not sure what I’ll say if she does reply. If she doesn’t reply that will explain to me that she does have some serious issues.

To answer your question all my exes have had some form of anxiety or being prescribed to medication. However none of them I felt for how I did this girl. Every moment seemed so real and there was no second guessing my heart at all. It really felt like destiny or a higher force to me and that’s why I wanted to give it my all. Past exes I did put in effort after breakups to reconcile, mainly due to the nature of breakups being my own doing. I made all the changes in my life for this girl and she didn’t. I think it’s as simple as tha in the big picture. She wasn’t ready and wasn’t honest.

Im not sure what to say if she replies. I don’t even know if she has received it yet.