Hi Adam,

you’re welcome. Glad that this helps you process it better and perhaps feel less angry at her.

I’ve just looked up dissociation and vision problems, and those could be related. Her vision going black for short periods of time could be the result of dissociation or depersonalization. Her eyesight isn’t affected by it, it’s just a temporary manifestation.

Also, if she has episodes where she “checks out” and doesn’t remember how she got from one place to another – that too indicates dissociation. I wouldn’t say she has “demons”, but rather, these are the consequences of her trauma. But in any case, it confirms that she should be in therapy, rather than trying to deal with it on her own.

I still have high hopes for her. I think she will get back to me once she reads my letter and poem.

I’ve got to ask you: even if she comes back to you, but refuses to seek therapy, would this be good for you? I mean, if the status quo continued, where she is regularly questioning you and you’re regularly reassuring her of your love and intentions… would this be good for you?

This is what gives me hope that she will eventually come to realize I was good and loving and only wanted to help

I think you would need to tell this to yourself: that you were (and are) good and loving and only wanted to help. You’re expecting her to tell you this, but do you believe it yourself?

Maybe you do already love yourself enough. But still I need to ask, because it might be key for your own healing…