Hi Adam,

thanks a lot, I really appreciate what you said!

I was never confident with women growing up, but I am now. I’ve always had trouble reading peoples emotions and especially females, I know they are complex individuals.

Again, I’ve got to ask about your childhood: how was your relationship with your mother (or other significant women in your life) while growing up? (if you don’t mind answering)

I am glad you’re now more confident around women!

I think I should understand that I can’t save people it’s just hard for me because it is what I want to do! I want to help others.

It’s a great quality – to want to help others. You could do that in the context of humanitarian work or any other arena, and I think it would be greatly appreciated. However, it seems you’re attracted to helping/saving your romantic partner, which is a very different dynamic. Saving the woman you love. It is often related to the dynamic in our childhood, where the child wants to “save” their overworked mother, for example. Sorry for bringing up your childhood again, but I wonder if such dynamic is familiar to you? (again, you don’t need to answer if you don’t feel comfortable)

You are right with the the comment about being co-dependent but I do think we were compatible at the end of the day. The connection was there for sure. However maybe we weren’t compatible in what we were looking for in a relationship, due to her trauma.

So compatibility (in terms of similar interests, values etc) was probably not the issue. Rather, it was her trauma that prevented her from having a healthy, committed relationship.

I think my main issue is just getting invested and attached, as I said I give most people my all if I feel the connection.

Yes, I think the problem might be that you get invested and attached to a certain type of women (those who are in need, and need to be “saved”), who might not be able to reciprocate your love. At least it was the case with this girl. I don’t know about your previous girlfriends – you said they too suffered from anxiety, but you had a different dynamic with them. It’s like you wanted to get away from them, whereas you wanted to stay with this girl.

I know over time I will get better and love myself again. I have high hopes for my future self.

That’s a great attitude! I too believe you can overcome the current obstacles and get out of this with greater knowledge of yourself, and also emotionally more resilient!