Dear noname:

My goodness!!! This is you!!! I m obviously excited to see you back here but I am also sad to read that your cousin was murdered back in March 2022,  a month or two after you posted here last.

Your last post here was on January 29, 2022, exactly 1 year and 10 months ago, being that today is Nov 29, 2023. On that day, you shared: “This week has been a rollercoaster“. Today, you wrote: “The past couple years have been a rollercoaster“.

A year and 10 months ago, you were about to meet your old therapist/ mentor for tea and guidance. You were still a beginning therapist about to take your licensure exam in a couple of weeks later. You felt bitter about some of your clients making way more money than you did as their therapist, regretting that you didn’t choose a lucrative career instead of psychotherapy. You were still struggling back then, and needed support with feeling “worthy and lovable“. You wondered on that day “if cutting back from alcohol, porn, and weed.. has anything to do with the intensity of the emotions” you were experiencing.

Today, you shared the very sad news that your cousin was murdered while trying to help his friend. He is on your mind and heart every day, and you miss him.

You are currently in an okay relationship, “overall a positive experience no matter what the outcome may turn out to be” and still “continually stressed about finances“.

You shared that the housing market is at an all time high. “The majority of my stress has to do with not having secure housing, and not being able to afford psychological help despite doing it for others. My day to day existence is overwhelming and unenjoyable but I have no one to blame but myself for being a therapist instead of an engineer or businessman. Oh well. I hope I can hold on, the lack of emotional and financial support is drowning me. Such is life.“-

– Don’t blame yourself, noname. Please don’t. Empathy for yourself (not blaming yourself) will give you much needed relief from much of your stress. It will tune down the volume of the overwhelm factor. Directing empathy toward yourself is the emotional support that you need and have needed for so long.

You ARE worthy and lovable and you deserve to rest in this truth.

“Anita how have you been?“- there are challenges in my life too and I am doing okay. As far as mental health, I am better than ever in my life, and a big part of it is directing empathy toward myself. Any time that I notice that I feel badly about something, if I figure that it is invalid guilt that I am feeling, or an exaggerated guilt considering a wrong I committed, or guilt that is not useful anymore and all it does is to make me suffer.. I am able to stop indulging in that guilt and to care enough for myself to .. wish myself to not suffer unnecessarily.

Back to you: the housing market being at an all-time high is a sort of necessary suffering, being that you have no control over it. But blaming yourself for choosing a (notable, valuable) career is an unnecessary suffering.

I am so glad to read back from you after all this time: you made my day, noname. Thank you!

anita