along with the short update i’ve given, i should add that i have been very aggressive lately mostly should be because of the job thingy and also the sun deficiency but haven’t put that towards my actions. My mind has been aggressive, my tolerance has been below zero for the first time in a very long time. But since I am alone here and not so social (?) maybe i see myself more clearly and can see how aggressive i think and that hasn’t created any problems or arguments. I am just aggressive, sometimes i rant about some stuff (other people, work, world issues, selfish people) and that’s it.

Being like this makes me feel radical as well, for instance, I realized how selfish a friend is and I have shown no tolerance to her but also didn’t had a fight or an argument. I am just ignoring and not acting towards her, not asking how she is and not offering my help. I am now comfortable with this attitude towards her because I was also feeling bad/awful and she didn’t care/or realize. If she doesn’t ask, why should I, I thought. I am the faulty one in her head probably and I should just learn to ignore this/ignore what people think, enough tolerance was shown to her in the past 6-7 years.

No tolerance ‘to some people’ policy feels weird but right.

It seems like i might end up with just 1-2 friends at the end, though.