Dear Ssleeping:

I didn’t read your recent post attentively enough. You wrote: “I don’t know if I could cut off contact, I promised to him I wouldn’t when he had a breakdown at the thought of it“-  I didn’t suggest that you cut contact with him. I suggested “to end all intimate talk with him, as well as physical intimacy”.  I realize that this would be very, very difficult for you to do, but it’d be best for your well-being to be his friend, from a distance (not living with him). As a true friend, you can keep your promise to maintain contact with him and help him through this time.

“Do you think we just need time and his feelings will return?… I don’t want to push him further away“- it reads like he is holding you hostage.. or you are holding yourself hostage until such time that his feeling return, if they will, afraid to make mistakes that will block his feelings from coming back (walking on eggshells perhaps?), anxiously waiting for the return of his feelings. Is this how it is for you..?

I am wondering: is he aware of what this situation is doing to you… Does he think about your suffering?

anita