Hey Beni,

you are welcome!

Yes, I actually bought a supplement once I read it from you and noticed that the Magnesium I take has it too.

Cool! Does it help at all (in case you took it)?

There’s one thing I think about. I think it can be psychosomatic too. There is this saying in german:’She/He has no backbone’. It’s when someone does not standup for himself.

Yeah, I’ve been thinking about that too. Because with this condition, I definitely feel like I have no power (no physical power), or that it is very limited. I can’t lift, vacuum clean, push anything heavy etc. And I can relate this to having not enough power (inner power) in certain areas of my life. Also, I can relate it to lack of resilience – because a relatively mild movement caused such a big injury/disability in my life.

So yeah, this condition definitely mirrors my psychological condition too. A part of my healing was to realize I am not that helpless and fragile as I thought I was, i.e. that I am more resilient than I thought I was. And it helped me deal with those flare-ups, because I’ve realized that I will be okay in a few days. That I am able to bounce back to my default, low-level pain.

So that’s the resilience part. The lack of inner strength part is something I am still working on. That’s where I need to toughen up and do certain things that I am postponing.

So this makes me wonder if the healing is reconnecting to myself. This is what my being is prioritizing more than doing exercises it seems to be the most important as soon I get the basic needs met.

Yeah, it does seem that healing involves not only physical but also psychological healing. This injury made me aware of some of the fears and false beliefs that I wasn’t even aware of. And it mirrored (and magnified) the limitations I had, which I now need  to work on. But for me, physical exercise and daily walks are still a must, because if I don’t do them, my pain gets worse.

But maybe, as I can hopefully start dissolving those blocks and weaknesses that I have, perhaps my back will feel better too. I certainly hope so! That would be amazing – if I could get unstuck psychologically, and at the same time get significantly better physically, with regard to my back. That would be a miracle that I need in my life! 🙂 But I also know it won’t just happen on its own, I need to work on it, I need to work on those obstacles that keep me from having power in my life.

So this makes me wonder if the healing is reconnecting to myself.

For you, it could be that reconnecting to yourself and your true needs (and meeting them, rather than sacrificing them for the sake of others) is what you need the most at this point. For me, it is connecting to my inner power. For you, it might be reconnecting to your body, your intuition, your inner voice?

And maybe that’s why you prefer to listen to your body and track the pain, rather than give up some of those movements altogether? Like, you want to hear and follow your own inner voice, rather than some outer voice (doctor) telling you what to do?