Dear Peace:

The person who submitted the last post to you (Feb 20), congratulating you for getting married, and for your healing and growth is Tee, not me.

“I’ve just finished my exams, but unfortunately, they didn’t go well despite all the effort I put into preparing for them. It’s disappointing, but I’m not giving up. I’ll try again“- this is the right attitude!

“Lately, I’ve been feeling like my siblings are mad at me or hate me. One of my sisters, who lives in Europe, has been pretty rude. She asks me for help and money, but she never says thank you. I feel like She blames me for her visa problems and that she is not getting job in Europe, even though I have nothing to do with it…“- I wrote above that trying again is the right attitude, and it is, as far as exams are concerned, but trying again with your sisters, trying to get them to like you and treat you well is .. not the right attitude and a waste of your emotional energy, energy that you need for trying again to pass the exams!

“Before my wedding, another sister accused me of being selfish. She said I could have helped more siblings move to Europe but chose not to because I dint want anyone to be prosper and have better life .It really hurt, especially right before my big day. Later, I found out it was my older sister spreading these rumors and badmouthing me to everyone. It feels like they made a group and I am the villain of everyone’s story..“-

– here is a quote from bustle. com/ signs your siblings are toxic: “Just because someone is related to you doesn’t automatically make them a positive part of your life. Everyone wants a good relationship with their family, but if you feel like crap after every interaction, you might want to look out for some signs you have toxic siblings… A toxic sibling might borrow money to resolve crisis after crisis and make you feel bad if you say no…

“Constructive criticism coming from a place of love is one thing, but a sign your sister is jealous of you could be that she intentionally makes you feel bad about yourself, instead of dealing with her own feelings… You may often feel as though you can’t do anything right because your sibling will nitpick and find ‘flaws’ in you… you don’t have to take it just because it’s coming from a family member… With toxic siblings, your brother or sister is never wrong… (blaming) others for their own mistakes or faults… They often have the mentality that nothing is their fault, and everyone else is wrong…

“A toxic sibling never apologizes, no matter what they did or how much it hurt you… A healthy relationship with a sibling… comes with an ‘open line of communication,’ meaning that if you tell your sibling that they hurt your feelings, ‘they should be receptive to that, and be willing to meet your needs [for an apology].’…

“Toxic siblings will do anything they can to take advantage of you… if they know you’re a people pleaser who has a hard time saying no, they will keep badgering you until you finally cave. They might even tell other family members about your weaknesses so that they can take advantage of you, too… and will guilt-trip you into getting what they want…

“You can do no right, while they can do no wrong… There’s always an excuse or a reason why your situations are different or why they’re not in the wrong — even if you both took the same action or made the same mistake. ‘They minimize your feelings but give themselves the space to process theirs, or expect you to show empathy for what they’re going through but don’t acknowledge your feelings'”-

– the above reads like a description of your sisters, doesn’t it?

anita