Hey SereneWolf,

Haha you know me well that’s actually what I did!

Fantastic! I like that you did celebrate it and felt good about it (and about yourself), at least for a short while before starting planning and worrying about the next steps 🙂

Yes I’m trying but my mind is already planning like look now try to do this first, fix that thing and after that do another. like I have to manage my finances, travel planning and also learning new things about sustainability. and just generally my mind is being very doubtful about if I’ll be able to do those things.

This sounds like the push-push-push drive in you, expecting faster and better from yourself, and then being doubtful that you’ll be able to do it. It’s like the strict/demanding parent sets high expectations and then you – the victim, i.e. the inner child – start feeling bad about yourself for not being able to accomplish those. For not being good enough. To me, it sounds a little bit like the dynamic you had with your father, doesn’t it?

I mean, it’s okay to plan and think about what needs to be done next, but if you approach it with this pressure and already feeling like a failure (my mind is being very doubtful about if I’ll be able to do those things), you are in the “I am not good enough” mindset. “I am a failure” mindset. And the inner critic has stolen your success!

Because although you’ve scored big time (you’ve just landed your dream job!), the inner critic is telling you you’re going to fail, even if this is now a success. The inner critic is taking away your success…

There is a saying in the Bible “Let no man take your crown”. Your inner critic is trying to take away your crown: your victory, your success, your achievements…. Please be aware of that, be aware of this tendency to minimize your successes and achievements, and to criticize yourself for not achieving even more.

I’ll reply about relationships in a separate post…