Dear Paradoxy,

I think my parents were neglecting my pain to let me grow into someone that is not affected by pain like this. As a result, though I feel pain in leaving B, I am able to live a much more normal life than I would have been.

Are you really able to live a normal life, dear Paradoxy? You said the pain regarding B has been eating you up, destroying you, you couldn’t sleep for 3 months, you “have been going through a depressed phase of just wanting the pain to end, whether it be through death or amnesia or something“. You said the pain has ruined you.

So am I actually neglecting my pain or am I choosing to push it to the back of my mind cause I have other priorities like studying for my med exam and other things that should not be affected by my pain?

Are you really not affected by pain, Paradoxy? Your words on wanting to go back in time and wipe out your own existence are an alarming proof that you are in a great amount of pain. Otherwise you wouldn’t believe such things about yourself. So it is clear to me that you are very much affected by your pain, and that suppressing it hasn’t helped you at all.

We do not have time to feel pain. We have responsibilities and other issues to worry about.

This sounds like something your father would say. I imagine he was telling you such things, and from an early childhood. The truth is that even adult men should be allowed to feel their pain, not to mention little children.

So I’d think twice if I’d want to follow that “wisdom”. And the thing is that we cannot be really wise if we lack emotional intelligence. Pure logic (which your father used) isn’t enough.

I hope we can talk some more on true wisdom: one that includes both intellect and emotions.