Dear Anitta,

Thank you for your reply.

For the part where I mentioned getting angry  – I am a very peaceful person in general. During the relationship I don’t remember loudly fighting with him or using bad words. I respected him a lot, always. Whenever we spoke about our future plans, or anything about commitment, initally there were no arguments, everything was super normal, he always said that his family is super accepting. But later, he just became too cold, and oddly rigid over things he knows I cannot do. Like leaving my job, or letting him decide alone what and where I shall work. Apart from this, he also told me that I will need to pray for 1-3 hrs daily, which is quite a lot in my eyes. I am religious but not at this level. He always knew this. On such discussions, I tried to adjust as much as I can, but he would still show me angry eyes, you know… the way someone looks in the eyes.. that gives an uncomfortable feeling…. that way. I could not deal with this and I would get angry. I admit that I shouted twice in anger at him. Regretted it so much later because of my immense love for him. But he always told me that I shall just listen to him, and i really tried to, most of the times. Unfortunately, sometimes, if I don’t agree with something, I cannot lie. I cannot act. It is not in my nature.

The last time we spoke. I was begging him to save our relationship by being a little open minded and he said he cannot promise future but can casually continue dating me. This was too disrespectful for me, and I told him that I can either talk to him in full commitment, or not. And i told him that he knows how to contact me, if he changes his mind. I don’t think he will ever contact me…

About my stuff, I am in a different country in Europe, and to send it to this address would be an issue, too much work for him. Also I do not want to contact him because it affects my mental peace, which I need for my work. I work in a laboratory… so it is essential for me to have a good concentration throughout the day.

Regarding the friendships I had… a few of them were professional dancers and singers… so it was fun to spend time with them for me, as I am also professionally trained in both. He did not like that my friends (and myself too) used to drink alcohol. But not to the extent of losing control and getting sick obviously.  We were responsible drinkers, who drank once a week during the weekend. I had friends of different nationalities as well.

He has all friends from his nationality.  And they watched podcast, they also drank alcohol and smoked (a lot). My ex used to smoke and drink a lot, but he told me that he stopped all of that because he started following his religion seriously shortly before I met him.

For me, personally, his friends didn’t have much substance in them, a bit shallow for me. Not too passionate about their work, or about any other activity… Excuse me for saying this, please. I did not have much to talk to them, because they talked about some podcasts about some sort of witchcraft and I don’t know much about it as I have not watched any podcasts. I can talk about different things… but not anything negative generally. I am sensitive (which is easy to comprehend about me)

I am trying to arrange someone to collect my stuff from his apartment, I hope it works out.

I hope you are doing well. Thanks for everything. And also to this platform, because this feels like my safe space.