Dear Paradoxy,

She is not in need of money as of right now, so does that mean she still wanted my validation?

I don’t think so, since she has already moved onto someone else:

I just found out that she already started flirting with a guy who she knew in high school and he expressed that he has some feelings for her already. And she told him that she is healing from a relationship that ended FEW months ago.

And she is already twisting the truth to the new guy, telling him you broke up a few months ago, which is not true, because you broke up beginning of April, right? (and you stayed broken up only because you refused to reconcile, right?)

So she is already feeding the new guy a re-touched version of the story, according to which she is “healing”, presenting herself as the victim of her ex’s (your) abuse.

And besides, she made it clear in this letter that she doesn’t want anything from you, she wished you a “good life”. So she knows she can’t get anything from you anymore. However, she doesn’t want to come out of this fight as a loser, as a defeated one. She wants to kick you one last time (They were not all slaps, they were different types of hits, like an elbow to the face when she opens the door or something, and the next time she kicks me in the shin while walking).

I see this letter as her “parting gift”, in which she repeats once again all of her “grievances” against you, and blames you for her own actions. A letter where she presents herself as the victim, and you as her abuser. And she managed to achieve her goal, because you are again doubting yourself, thinking that what if it’s all your fault:

But reading her messages make me feel like maybe she is right, maybe I am the problem overall.

I don’t want to be the cause of her pain

She has been falsely accusing you all this time, making you believe that you are the cause of her pain. That you are harming her, when in fact, she was harming you. The pain she caused you with her lies and deceptions (and false accusations) is much bigger than what you caused her by trumpeting your parents’ false beliefs about women.

So if you are looking at the bigger picture – which you should, rather than focusing on details and technicalities – she is not your victim, but you are her victim. And she is trying to turn that around: turn the truth upside down, and present herself as the victim.

I don’t want to be the cause of her pain but I don’t see any other option but to leave.

I hope that you’re not entertaining the thought of reconciling again? I thought that chapter is closed, and frankly, I wouldn’t like to keep convincing you that you should stay away from her, and why.

So I do hope you can start moving on, i.e. start healing and learning from your mistakes.