Dear Tee,

“What kind of comfort does she want from you, and in what form?” She comes to me whenever her work is over to rant about how her day went and etc and she likes talking about her problems to me but it is just comfort through texting, nothing more.

“I am appalled by the fact that she secretly exported your private conversation with your guy friend, and is now dissecting it and accusing you of all kinds of things.” She did it because on that day, I had told my friend that I would be going to her place to collect my stuff, and he joked that I should let him know if I need backup in case she resists. She saw the notification and instantly started looking through the chat. I had shared with him the song that was inspired by the girl to ask him about his opinion on it and when she found out about that, she accused me of cheating on her and decided to secretly export the entire chat so she can go through all of it in her own time.

“You are offering to willingly bleed out for her – maybe not financially anymore, but emotionally yes.” Yes I realized that but my stupid self does not like being cold to people in general. I am always kind and that kindness is my weakness here. I am being kind cause I don’t want the guilt to be nagging at me later on. It is like a pain for me cause I could walk by a beggar on the street and if he begs me for money and I say no, I end up constantly thinking about what the beggar said and wondering why I said no and also wondering if I should go back and give him some money.

I am planning to cut my ties to her as soon as I get my stuff back, but she keeps bringing up excuses and asking for more time. She doesn’t have enough money to get a new laptop for her work so she can’t give me back my laptop and I will get in trouble if I don’t get the laptop back so I can’t just let her have it for free.

Paradoxy