Dear Tee,

“So sometimes she just complains about her stuff and you are her shoulder to cry on, but sometimes she steals private conversations from your phone and accuses you of your supposed “crimes” against her?” Yea precisely so, and turns out my guy friend backstabbed me by adding more lies to the fuel, and it is not the first time he has done it. The only person I had left to trust, went behind my back and told her things that made her believe that I was cheating on her. And when confronted, he told me that he didn’t lie. He said that he told her that I didn’t cheat, but she still managed to misunderstand enough to continue believing that I did cheat. She asked me not to tell anyone about her cheating, but I told my guy friend the truth about what she did, but I specifically told him not to tell her that I told him the truth. But instead, he went behind my back yesterday and went to tell her that I told him the full truth. It is amazing that you find enemies where you least expect it. The last person that I ever trusted. Now I really am all alone.

“So you are there to comfort her and have a nice word for her (i.e. be kind and supportive to her), but also to listen and agonize about her false accusations of you.” It is more complex than that, but that is essentially it.

“But also, I would be careful of whatever she tells you about her problems at work and her supposed difficulties, because she has a habit of lying. I wouldn’t trust anything she says.” Yes I have realized that, but it seems more like she twists the truth to satisfy her needs and she actively believes in the misunderstandings. By the way she twists the truth, someone could borrow her stapler without asking and she would label it as severe theft. Is she lying about someone taking her stapler? No. But the way she describes it makes it seem as if someone stole from her even if that was not their intention.

“Pancreatic cancer is the worst type, in the sense that it’s usually diagnosed when it’s already too late, and it takes the person away in a matter of months.” I think it was not developed enough to affect his lifestyle at the time. But I don’t remember the details about it.

“Even if it’s not a pancreatic cancer but another life threatening disease, you don’t travel across the world, specially not without your loved ones (she said the guy is married).” This spanish guy is an ass. He already had a woman he loved but instead of marrying her in their youth, he chose to “enjoy his youth” and only decided to get married recently when he got closer to his death. And he thinks that B should be consoled for the “trauma” that she had to go through in January, because he is blind to the severity of her damn lying and manipulation. That is the type of asshole he is (forgive my language). So I am not amazed that he came to enjoy some time in the Caribbean with his buddies instead of his wife.

” It can all be fabricated. Perhaps not all, but you cannot tell for sure.” I know that. That is why I told u that she could have been manipulating things from the very beginning. We don’t know. And I don’t want to accuse her of manipulation without good enough evidence of it, just in case she just happened to be telling the truth, even if the chances are very slim.

“Now your goal is to be strategic and get your laptop back, without engaging with her too much emotionally.” I have to engage with her emotionally because otherwise she would just block me. I can’t get my stuff back if there is no means of communication. And I can’t just go to her place and demand that she give me my stuff because a snake like her could scream and lie that I was attacking her or something, and as a woman, most people will believe her.

“Why doesn’t her employer provide her with a laptop?” The company she is working for is in the US, and she is not in the US and they don’t provide that kind of facility for her.

“A simple example: you were forced to sit with adults and listen to their discussions, when you wanted to go out and play, like every other kid.” Lol that is so accurate. And there is nothing I can do about it.

“How does this sound? Is it too much? How do you feel about starting to set boundaries with her?” I already established the boundaries tho, but I just keep falling for her guilt tripping and her attack on my sense of honor and morality. I have tried to be cold with her, but I cannot maintain it for long because someone like her will twist reality to satisfy her and it hurts my pride. I wish I stayed broken up when I found out about her cheating, at least I wouldn’t have given her my new laptop and etc. She still says what happened in January is not my business just cause we had broken up a day prior to it happening. I keep trying to explain to her that the moment we decided to get back together, what happened in January became my business. Even my tears have no value.

Paradoxy