Dear Anita,

“For the last few years, I acknowledge my birthday in the middle of July”

My friend P’s birthday is mid July as well! You are my second mid July friend 🙂
<p class=”p1″>I really like your analysis here, that it is natural for humans to please, because there is something about it that makes me feel satisfied and whole</p>
This is an area that is hard for me to see myself, to separate the false and true self. I think because my dad was so critical I got used to getting outside criticism/validation from him. He truly convinced me that I couldn’t see myself, acting shocked at how “selfish” and ungrateful I could be. This created so much doubt within myself, and it is still there. When I am told I’m being selfish I just believe it because like my dad said “you can’t see it but you are.” I see it in other relationships in my life, where if I receive their criticism or validation I act accordingly, and I stray away from my true self.

I want to get wiser in this area, and see more clearly when it is appropriate to make a selfish decision and when it is not. And to see when someone’s criticism is truly about me or it’s about them.

seaturtle