Dear Tee,

“Dear Paradoxy, you have described a patriarchal system to a tee, as well as exemplified a stance of superiority over women so many times in your posts.” Obviously you misunderstood.

“You believed you possessed a superior wisdom” How is me offering better solutions than her solutions supposed to indicate that I have superior wisdom than others? I was saying that the least she could do was to ask me for advice when she is unsure before making her decision cause I have proven countless times that I am capable of making better decisions than her. How is that supposed to indicate I am acting superior? I was talking about her specifically, not women in general.

Are you saying that entitled feminist women do not exist? Are you saying there are no stupid things that a lot of women do that is common between them? Cause my experience says other wise. I have seen how a lot of women behave and it is way too similar and common behavior so I naturally started expecting them from every girl. That doesn’t mean I haven’t considered women who could be exceptions.

“When she repeatedly refused to follow your guidance on proper behavior, you believed that she was intellectually impaired, i.e. stupid and oblivious, rather than someone who was sly and manipulative and pretended to agree with you even when she didn’t” You have not experienced life with her. You only know things from what I have described. You cannot comprehend the emotions and other things that are felt when spending time with her. I am not saying she is intellectually impaired. I am saying she has poor decision making skills. Why would any woman in their right mind knowingly allow other people to take advantage of themself? She did not repeatedly REFUSE to follow my guidance. She just said she would change her ways and just going back to doing the same thing. She is not actively REFUSING, she is just not trying. It is like procrastination, where you know you have to do it but you are too lazy to do it.

“And why have you concluded that she was not thinking? Because that’s what you were taught to believe about women: that they are not thinking.” WHY ARE YOU DRAGGING FEMINISM INTO THIS? I am talking about B ONLY. ONLY HER. I am not talking about ALL women in general. I am speaking SPECIFICALLY about B. The amount of times she has made these poor decisions and allow herself to get harmed, you telling me that she was thinking properly through all of it? It is VERY obvious that she just lacks poor decision making skills.

“So you portray the woman as someone to keep the home intact, and the man as the leader. What does a leader do? Makes decisions, tells the rest of the family (including his wife) what to do. His word is the last. So when you say “the man takes the responsibility of leading”, you are describing the patriarchal system – even as you are denying it.” Oh my goodness Tee, you are misunderstanding. You could have at least read through my medical team example to understand what I was trying to say. A leader doesn’t simply make decision and tell the others what to do. If that is what you describe to be a leader, you will never be respected as a leader. A leader is supposed to ensure the group works together. A leader takes responsibility over the ENTIRE group. It is a TEAM EFFORT. Without the TEAM, a leader is NOTHINGGGGGG. And a Team without a leader would be very DISORGANIZED and UNPRODUCTIVE. It is the same in a family. Without the family to support him, the man is nothing. That is why there is a saying that there is a woman behind every successful man.

I am sorry but it looks like Feminism is a sensitive topic for you so I understand why you are becoming defensive. I am interested in seeing a different perspective but that doesn’t necessarily mean I have to agree with the perspective. But what you don’t realize is that I never disagreed with your perspective. You are the one disagreeing with me when essentially we are saying the SAME THING. I am not arguing to prove my point, I am arguing to correct your misunderstanding of what I am saying cause you think I am trying to say men are superior to women. Men are not superior. They are both equal. But equal doesn’t mean they can do the same thing. Each person has their own responsibility. Like women are better at emotional intelligence than men. Obviously there are exceptions but that is a general thing. That is also why you tend to see more female therapists than males. That doesn’t mean women are superior. Women are just better at some things while men are better at other things. In marriage, both of them have to WORK TOGETHER, instead of making independent decisions. Please. Stop. Misunderstanding. I am not being misogynistic. I AM AGREEING WITH YOUR PERSPECTIVE. All I am saying is that YOUR understanding of MY PERSPECTIVE is not correct. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE Try to understand that I am not against you. You ignore half of the things I say and then try to accuse me of being misogynistic? You grab on to the information YOU want and then use it to make your point instead of understanding the information as a WHOLE. I think that is just rude. I don’t see where I denied my painful wounds so I don’t know what you are talking about. But anyway, I wish you the best as well. Goodbye.

Paradoxy