Dear Tee,

“Actually I am looking at the bigger picture here – at everything you said, not only bits and pieces.” Clearly you are seeing the bigger picture wrong cause you are still forgetting certain things that I said.

“Your experience with B cannot be observed separately from your view of women” You are saying that just cause of one statement where I expressed that I prefer being alone cause I don’t want to be hurt? Obviously I would fall in love again at one point, even if I hate women now, it won’t last for long. I don’t hate women themself, I just hate the pain they cause. You couldn’t understand that I was simply too broken to ever want to deal with women again?

“I don’t know what you mean by entitled feminist women?” Women who think they are equal to men and capable of doing whatever they want and they think that men are trying to act superior to them and they get offended over the smallest things that men say about women and they demand respect instead of earning it.

“However, you cannot make generalizations and accuse all women, or women in general, to be like that.” But I never said ALL women. I said most women. I used the term “most” because based on the countless number of people that I have met, the ratio of bad women to good is like 93:100. I have obviously acknowledged that good women exist. See how easily you twist my words and assume the wrong meaning?

“You too accepted this generalization as the truth, so even though you don’t think that all women are immoral, you believe that good, honest women in the modern world are exceptions to the rule” Cause I came across too many evidences that state this generalization to be true to an EXTENT? But I am still wise enough to know that not all women are immoral, I am aware that exceptions exist. Does that not count for anything?

“So the rule, i.e. the false belief that you adopted, is that most women in the modern world are immoral and not “wife material”. This is the misogyny that I am talking about: believing that the majority of women is bad, but allowing for exceptions.” So you are saying that it is misogynistic to say there are a lot of bad women who have ulterior motives to dating you while also stating that there could be some good women? I also think that there are a lot of immoral men who choose to sleep around with multiple women, and even father children with them only to leave them as single mothers, and men who use women for sex and men who cheat on their own partners and etc instead of settling down with one woman. Does that make me a misandrist? Obviously I have acknowledged that there are good people. But the amount of bad people is so overwhelmingly large, I cannot simply ignore the possibility of coming across them. I have come across too many women who wear revealing outfits to attract men’s attention and sleep with a bunch of them without the slightest respect for their own body, women with body counts in the double digits and I have come across too many women who thinks men should pay for everything and therefore take advantage of the men to pay their bills and etc. I have also come across too many men who prefers to “enjoy their youth” sleeping around with multiple women EVEN WHEN their ideal woman is right in front of them. I have come across too many men who prefers “friends with benefits” instead of having a real relationship. There was even a guy who slept with SEVENTEEN women within his very first week in college just cause the women wanted to sleep with him. But I know good people exist but I cannot afford to be naive enough to expect everyone to be good. How is that misogynistic? Cause if I was misogynistic, you would have to consider me misandristic too.

There was a time when B and I were hanging out with our classmates and some college seniors when we came across the topic of dating and marriage. When they asked me about my relationship, I told them that I wanted to marry B, and they all laughed at me and called me naive for assuming my relationship would work out. They said it is good to have dreams like that but unfortunately it is not that practical, only extremely lucky people get to the stage of marriage, especially in their first relationship, cause a lot of women and men cannot be trusted. They said that was why most of them choose to have sex for fun instead of committing. They told me I would experience the truth the hard way. I tried to prove them wrong but you know what happened.

“You still believe you are not misogynistic? Believing that good women are an exception to the rule?” Yes I do not think of myself as misogynistic because I know that good women exist, but unfortunately there are too many bad women in society today for me to just ignore the possibility of coming across them. The same applies to men. My decision to keep my guard up against all women doesn’t mean I see all women as gold diggers and etc. I am just keeping my guard up to protect myself from being hurt by them. I believed in the good in people at one point and that caused me to fall in love with B within a few months and also caused me to be stupid enough to ignore the red flags despite seeing them. I am not making that mistake again. I still believe in the good in people but I am not going to give my trust to people without them earning it first, but don’t assume that I see them all as untrustworthy, I just do not want to make myself vulnerable to the wrong person and be hurt by them. And that applies to men AND women. There is no misogyny in that. So don’t misunderstand.

I am NOT saying all women are immoral and etc. I am saying that a lot of immoral women do exist, so I have to keep my guard up until I can differentiate between bad women and good women to avoid being hurt by the wrong people. My decision to keep my guard up doesn’t make me a misogynist.

Paradoxy