Dear Tee,

“So B is someone who likes to party, and those parties are the kind where girls (including B) dance practically naked, in a bikini/thongs, while men are staring at them and lusting after them.” You are partially correct. B does like to party, but these parties are not always the kind where girls dance practically naked. Some girls wear revealing outfits though, but most of them don’t. Most of them just wear outfits that are “sexy” even without revealing much skin, but it highlights certain parts of their body, but knowing how filthy men are, they are bound to look. But there are parties where girls wear very revealing outfits. Look up the Jamaican carnival. It is a parade where the women wear extremely revealing outfits and men go for the parade just to stare at women. And then there will be a concert after the parade where the women would be dancing very sexually, entertaining the men there. B suggested that we go together for the carnival but like I told you, being in such environments makes me extremely uncomfortable and I hate it so I obviously told her that we can’t go. She appeared okay with my decision though.

“So B doesn’t mind that kind of environment, where she is looked at as a sexual object, a piece of meat. I am sure that’s how her rich old guy “friend” viewed her too.” No, she does mind. She usually goes to parties that are more formal and wear more appropriate outfits, but that is not going to stop men from being filthy assholes. And no, her rich friend doesn’t seem to view her in that manner, based on what I know about him….

“And indeed, they took a photo together by the pool at 6 am, after one of such parties. Surely, they didn’t all wake up early to go for a refreshing swim. But they stayed up all night, doing who knows what.” It is possible, but B said that there was no party the previous night, and she said that she went to the pool by herself before everyone woke up but she didn’t know her friend had also woken up. I would prefer not to assume that she was up doing all kinds of wrong things.

“Yes, she is fully clothed except when she is partying – that’s when she is practically naked.” No, she is fully clothed even at parties, but her choice of outfit is more like thin to an extent, or the skirt has a very long cut. Idk how to describe it. It is like those outfits girls would wear that have an opening to stick their leg out. Or another outfit would be a top and jeans but the top is short so you can see her stomach clearly. And most of her outfits require her to wear no bra as well. So that also annoys me.

“She is also fully clothed except when her ex is taking out her braids – that’s when she is naked, wrapped only in a towel. And yes, she lives under the same roof with her ex, so that’s when she is not fully clothed either.” No, She is clothed but her choice of clothing at home is like “booty shorts” and thin shirts with no bra. Sometimes she wears long pants though and she claims to be careful with her choice of outfits. Every time I come over to her place, I tell her to wear something more appropriate when she is outside of her room but she keeps saying that there is nobody home so she is fine. But then one day she made the same excuse and I warned her that her housemates could come back any second and she pushed off my remark like it would never happen, only for her ex to return home and she had to run back to her room to change. The issue with her ex was just a coincidence according to her, cause it was supposed to be the female housemate who was supposed to remove her braids.

“She didn’t? She didn’t prostitute herself for money? She doesn’t go to pool parties where she is dancing half-naked in front or rich old tourists? She didn’t let you finance her for an entire year? She didn’t take your laptop and doesn’t intend to return it any time soon? She didn’t convince you to invest in some shady financial schemes, and then used the little that you earned for her own expenses?” You have the wrong understanding of things. She only prostituted herself one time, and she claims to have had no choice because her aunt had set up the whole ordeal. She did go to pool parties but that was before we started dating and she didn’t dance sexually in front of men in that manner, I believe she has too much self respect to be doing those things and they were circumstances where she had control of herself and was not forced to do anything. I financed her because she had lost her job because she refused to prostitute herself, so as her bf, I felt I should help her in the time of need, and she could just pay me back when she gets a stable job, cause I never thought of us as two different people, cause I always aimed to marry her in the future so whatever I invested in her right now, would be beneficial for both of us in the future when she has a stable job and we are married. She didn’t TAKE my laptop, I offered to buy her a laptop cause she needed one for work and she couldn’t return the laptop because she needed it for work. That was before I found out about what happened in January, but because I made the promise to her, I decided to let her have the laptop and she can just pay me back later when she has earned the money. Taking the laptop back by force would be counterproductive because she would lose her job and I am not that cruel. So I have decided to sell the laptop to her and she has started paying me back in installments. And yes she convinced me to invest in trading, and it partially worked. We made a profit of 600 dollars with the initial investment, but the guy we hired chose to party instead of focusing on the trading and so he lost all the money and we went right back to square one. We entered the investment knowing the risks, so she didn’t force me into it. I needed a passive source of income because I can’t work when I have to handle the workload from med.

“You see her as some innocent angel, who is 100000 times better than other women.” Lol she may not be an innocent angel but she is definitely one of the better girls from what I have seen.

“Because in one post, you describe her sexually enticing dancing/partying habits, where she willingly goes to those parties and dances provocatively in front of men. But then in the very next post you claim that she always dressed modestly and that it’s not her fault that men lust after her.” I think you misunderstood, I was speaking about the women in general about the sexual dancing and partying. Not B specifically. B does party, but she is aware of what she is doing, based on all the recordings that I secretly watched, it would appear that she never entertained any man in the sexual manner at these parties. She did dance, but not to entertain men sexually and she is fully clothed, but these clothes highly certain parts of her body like her thigh or waist or breast etc.

“As I said, you are deluding yourself big time. You would need to decide: do you want to keep deluding yourself, or you want to finally see the truth?” How am I deluding myself? It is not like I am going to take her back. I have already received all my clothes back. I just need to get the money for my laptop and then we will be done forever.

Paradoxy