Dear Paradoxy,

the guy is a pain: he refuses to take responsibility for losing the money cause “trading is a very risky investment and it has ups and downs which we cannot control”

That’s true, but you said you lost money because the guy wasn’t really doing his job but went partying (the guy we hired chose to party instead of focusing on the trading). So that doesn’t belong to the normal risk of trading. How do you even know he was partying instead of watching what’s going on on the markets?

then we just stopped working with him and started saving again to try out other trading groups.

Has that brought any success? Have you earned anything?

Oh trust me when I say this, my father’s beliefs do not control me, they have just made me aware and more cautious. They ended up being right about B and so I will respect their beliefs,

That’s actually the paradox: in spite of all his warnings and (I’d still say) indoctrination about women, you still managed to fall for the kind of girl he was warning you about. So that’s something to consider. So either you need more education and basically following your father’s instructions about whom to marry (light skinned girl, preferably from your religious/ethnic community). Or you need something else?

Thank you. I will come back to this whenever I feel like someone is gaslighting me. I will learn from my mistake.

You are welcome. I would consider that each time you complain about something, and your father says to suck it up and be a man, that’s gaslighting too. Because he is invalidating your feelings and your reality.