Dear Zenith:

“Maybe I should zone out when they (say) something stupid“- Maybe you can zone out before anyone says something stupid?

I used to zone out a lot and nothing that was said around me registered in my brain, it’s part of my ADD, Attention Deficit. Nowadays, it happens when people talk too much, it tires me.

“I am always worried about other people.. if I am making them sad by saying no blah blah… I am always worried I would say something stupid… I suppress myself.”

-I too was so worried about hurting other people, not only with the words I said, but with the words I should have said, but didn’t; worried that I’d hurt people with the expressions on my face, by what  did or didn’t do (but should have done). It was an endless, tiring, exhausting way to live. I was like under a magnifying glass, in my own mind, criticizing my every thought, my every word, expression, act. I used to get so ANGRY for.. not being free, free to just live, to just be without that critical overseer.

I used to suppress myself most of the time. It was so difficult! It was crazy-making. It is so important to express, at least sometimes, to fully, genuinely, simply express oneself.

I wish you can start doing it at work, in small portions, just a bit here, a bit there. Same in India, at home, anywhere and everywhere.

anita