Continued:

Her falsehoods: that everyone is selfish (me included), that everyone wanted to take advantage of her (including me), that everyone was- is BAD (including me), that she is Good vs Bad Everyone. That she is as Pure as the driven snow, and everyone else- EVERYONE- is Corrupt… (including me).

Because of my loyalty to her, I decided to hate Everyone, to join her in her hate of Everyone. And to take advantage of them.. for her benefit. As in: to be bad to Everyone meant being Good to her.

She, my mother, never noticed and never rewarded my loyalty.

Loyalty unacknowledged,  I was Alone: no togetherness with her, no togetherness with Everyone.

To be continued-

anita