Dear Paradoxy,

Got screenshots of their conversation on Instagram

She sent it to you? When is the conversation between the two of them dated?

but honestly don’t know who to trust anymore.

Definitely not her. She is known for seductive behavior, sexting and other stuff. And lying. I wouldn’t be surprised if she flirted with your friend too.

Basically, he was interested in her from the beginning. Basically, he was interested in her from the beginning. Despite all the things I told him about her.

A sexy, enticing girl, who enjoys men’s attention, is interesting to a lot of  men… He might think she is hot. There is no crime in that. But he didn’t start anything with her until after you two broke up. If it is even true that he started hitting on her. Perhaps she was being seductive with him… BTW if he really wants to pursue her, in spite of everything you told him about her, well good luck, he’ll have to learn his lesson the hard way.

The amount of anger that I have boiling inside me makes me want to break him, but I made a promise to his mother to keep him safe.

Please don’t harm him. You need to control the physical expression of your anger, even if you feel anger inside.

So now I have to walk around with more anger and hate in my heart, while pretending to be good friends with him.

Have you talked to him about her allegations (that he was hitting on her)?

Already called B out for being a narcissist a while back, but that argument didn’t go anywhere. She is just too stubborn.

Yeah, narcissists are like that… and if you call them out, they’ll accuse you right back – that you are a narcissist. Has she done that?

I am here trying my best to stay calm and understanding and she just pushes all the wrong buttons.

What do you need to understand? Has she started repaying your laptop, or she is still finding excuses to delay it?

And then I burst when I couldn’t handle her disrespect and I started being verbal abusive to her when she crossed the line with her disrespect. I tolerate insults toward me but don’t expect me to stay calm if she starts insulting my parents, and I fell right into her trap: she now says I am the one who didn’t change and that she was the one who had to put up with my verbal abuse.

Are you still caught in a conflict with her, with arguments, mutual accusations, insults, things like that?

Even if I watched those videos and identified B as a narcissist, I still have to put up with her until I get my money back.

And has she started repaying? Because if not, then your ongoing conflict is just a smokescreen, which uses to justify her defiance and her refusal to give you back your money. She might want to keep you in this state of anger, frustration and conflict for months and years. Without delivering what she’s promised.