Hi Tee,

Oh wow, congratulations! I’ve checked the Statue of Unity (didn’t even know about it), and oh my, it’s 182 m high, which is almost double the height of Statue of Liberty! Must admit, it’s not that beautiful :), but it is impressive, for sure. How did you cope with the high temperatures that were measured in India recently?

Yup it’s not that awesomely beautiful statue. But that man helped the India how it is now otherwise it would like Europe now. So many countries. Sardar Patel made all the small and medium size to big states sign the treaty to join India. That’s why it’s called statue of Unity.

It’s starting of the Monsoon season here, and actually because of the heat I decided to move to a city with a better weather. (I’m already in train as I’m writing this)

Thanks, my back is now behaving a little better fortunately, so it’s the knee that is giving me the most trouble. I hope it’s temporary and not some big setback.

Ah I hope so too. Try to have more calcium rich food it may work.

Does it mean you’ll be living like a digital nomad, working remotely from various places, not having a fixed address? And for how long are you planning that?

Yes. I’m planning to live as a Digital nomad as least for 2-3 years. Until I finish my travel bucket list. After that I’ll decide where I want to stay. Like good and peaceful place for a family to grow. As of now India doesn’t seem like it for long term.

So is that what you have in mind for your next phase? Or how exactly do you envision your love life in the next phase?

That’s a hard question to answer. And you may still think that I’m being too much hopeful. But I think love of my life will just come. If it’s written in my destiny she isn’t going anywhere. We’ll meet when the time is right. So, I don’t have like a foolproof plan for how to find love during my travel journey. But just a hope that it’ll happen.
During the journey my work wouldn’t be finding love, but try to find my own self. Enjoy the mother nature. Be in the present and know that I’m part of this big ever-changing universe.

I also know that during my journey I’ll also meet lot of people and I’ll create lot of connections. So who knows it could be one of them? Only time will tell.

Well, if you didn’t miss her, why were you angry that she is playing games with you and sending you confusing vibes?

Because she said stuff like that and then acted like nothing happened.

This doesn’t sound like you didn’t really care about her. It sounds like you care, and you are hurt and angry that she is playing hot and cold. But you pretended not to care, by replying sarcastically: “well, who’s stopping you to contact me?” You didn’t express your vulnerability (e.g. you didn’t say “I miss you too”), or your upset, by you pretended not to care whether she writes or not.

Yes because like I said I’m being logical and seeing the end result here? Why should I put energy into those things If I don’t want go deeper into that relationship? I don’t even like her that much.

That’s why I asked you to be honest with yourself. To acknowledge your feelings – not necessarily to her, but to yourself. To acknowledge that she did stir interest in you, that she does seem mysterious and exciting in a way, and that it doesn’t feel good when she is playing games with you and playing with your feelings. But also, that you don’t like her drinking and smoking and I don’t know what else you object to.

Okay you’re right about this. I kept shutting up myself like shut up she’s not your type so don’t hype up about her, don’t think about her. Don’t get excited. But yeah, reality is she did stir interest in me a lot At first. Now that interest is faded. After knowing she keeps repeating her mistakes. She’s quite childish and angry and no improvement in her even after years of therapy. And it’s not just about her in this. But I’m being selfish here. Why should I put time and energy for this? She’s older than me. She knows what’s right and wrong. I’ll just let her be. Because if I’m in her or not it wouldn’t make much difference.

Perhaps write it all down: everything you feel about her. Like in that exercise by Anna Runkle (youtube channel “Crappy Childhood Fairy”, her “Daily practice” exercise).

So what I am suggesting is to be more honest with yourself about how you’re feeling. Don’t share those emotions with her – don’t show your vulnerability to her – because she might not deserve it. But be honest with yourself, allow yourself to feel those emotions, don’t stuff them down immediately.

You’ve been stuffing down your emotions for so long, and now it’s time to let them flow – to feel them. I think you now have the capacity to let them flow through you and not be overwhelmed. You’ve grown a lot in the recent years and developed that capacity.

Remember, you are allowed to feel those feelings, and you don’t need to hide them, because neither your mother or your father are watching you. You can feel whatever you feel, and that’s okay.

And as I said, you can start writing down your feelings, to make them more contained and less all over the place. It’s something you do only for yourself, for your own healing.

Thanks, you’re right this is something also I really need to work on. When something like this happens, I just deny my feelings, Like what? This can’t be me. So I should be more honest with myself and accept that it’s okay to simply allow those human emotions. It’s normal.

I think there should be some good journaling course. Because there are times when I’m able to write down what I’m feeling but sometimes if I’m overwhelmed with lot of emotions at once it’s not easy to put it on paper.

And no I won’t be vulnerable with her. Like you said because I feel like she doesn’t deserve it.