Dear Tee,

“what do you mean “wrong again”?….Is this some kind of quiz and you enjoy pointing out that I didn’t know the answer?” Please don’t misunderstand, I said “wrong again” in reference to the times that you have gotten the details mixed up/misunderstood.

“You said earlier that “Christians and Muslims are in the minority here“. I thought you were talking about the Caribbean country you live in, where there is a majority of Hindu population, and those 3 countries I mentioned above came up as a possibility. But no, apparently you were for some reason talking about India, even though we were discussing various ethnic communities in the Caribbeans. And then, when I didn’t guess which country you live in – because you weren’t even talking about it, but about India – you tell me “wrong again”. Really?” No, you misunderstand. AGAIN. I was talking about a community that is WITHIN a Caribbean country. If you go back to the context, you will notice that I said the phrase “Christians and Muslims are in the minority here” under the response where you were asking about the sins done by the Caribbean community versus my community. I thought it was quite obvious that the phrase applied to the community I live in, not the country I live in. It was only AFTER that, I proceeded to explain the corruption in my country of origin, which is India. I was talking about the ethnic communities in the Caribbean, but you misunderstood that I was referring to India, as shown by your statement “But no, apparently you were for some reason talking about India, even though we were discussing various ethnic communities in the Caribbeans.”. Ethnic communities in the Caribbean is EXACTLY what I was referring to. YOU misunderstood and assumed that I was talking about India when I said that “Christians and Muslims are in the minority here“. I did make a reference to India, but it was AFTER I explained the situation regarding the community here, and I thought I made that clear when I said “Even the government back home….“.

Let me make it very clear for you. You asked me, “You are talking about a country in the Caribbeans, with the majority Indian population, right?” No, I was talking about a COMMUNITY with the MAJORITY Indian population, not COUNTRY. But that Community is PART of a Caribbean country, which is the Bahamas. I corrected you in my response by describing the Indian community, and how the financial corruption takes place in this community. But you misunderstood because you were quick to be offended when I said you were wrong and didn’t understand the part where I was RE-EXPLAINING how Hindus were involved in corruption in my COMMUNITY. I was re-explaining the corruption to make it clear for you that I was referring to the community and not the country.

“That too was misleading because I couldn’t understand how come you are so far away from your parents – where are those “thousands of miles” of distance in the Caribbeans? Well, now it’s clear that there are not…” Yes that was a mistake on my part because I never looked up the actual distance. But that doesn’t change the fact that even if I was in a country thousands of miles away from them, I would still be monitored by them daily. Like even if I was all the way in Australia, they would still find a way to maintain their control because “I don’t know any better”.

“And are you a strong man? If so, then why do you complain about being immature, lacking intelligence, skills, performing poorly left and right, failing exams, not having friends, or being used by so-called friends etc etc?” Firstly, I am not a strong man yet, but I am in the process of becoming strong, by healing past all of this. That is the whole point of the phrase “hard times create strong men”. Strong men form when they grow past their trauma and heal. Secondly, I am not complaining. I was just listing out the reasons for why I am so bothered because I thought you would understand. I was just adding more detail to why I feel this way so that you could understand me better. I didn’t know that my own words were going to be used against me like that. If I were complaining, I would constantly be trying to get other people’s pity instead of being silent and enduring through all of this like I am doing right now.

“You complain that you are unable to survive in the society with all of your weaknesses, and yet, your are a strong man?” I never called myself a strong man, I said that my hardships WILL make me a strong man. But that requires me to move past the trauma and heal first. And I was not complaining, I am just acknowledging my disabilities and I was trying to explain to you why my parents’ words hit me hard.

“But how when you complain that you can’t differentiate between veins and arteries” Do you not get it? I am obviously working on those issues. I just haven’t gotten past those things yet. I am just going into second year of med. I still have several years ahead of me. I told you those things because they are things that currently act as “evidence” that supports my parents’ beliefs about me. I told you those issues so you could understand why it is so hard for me to move on from what my parents said, not for you to use those things against me. I am just worried rn cause it is crucial that I get past those issues.

Again, I am NOT complaining. I am just explaining the reasons why it is hard for me to not worry when I have disabilities like the things I listed that can have a huge impact on my future if I don’t get past it.

Also I am not trying to disrespect you in any regard, so try not to misunderstand my intentions.

Paradoxy