Dear Dave:

You are welcome. Good to read that you are certainly fine and dandy without a partner (since May), having been focused on your own mental health and well-being, and that you don’t intend to make rash decisions that could damage the work you’ve done over the last 14 months!

“I also feel its important to clarify that she has hinted and indirectly highlighted that she has feelings for me that have just never gone away“- do you know why she hinted that she has feelings vs directly telling you so?

“I wouldn’t in anyway consider trying to make a permanent move with her if the points you make above were not addressed and clarified… Maybe I should have clarified that providing she can offer me some assurance and take some responsibility for her part in the breakup and relationship breakdown then I’d be interested to explore it??“- I think so, yes. I would discuss with her the topics of Responsibility and Respect. And perhaps (?) another topic that I came across this morning, when replying to another thread: the principle of least interest.

From psychology today/ power imbalances in  relationships explained:  “Why is it that we often find ourselves in romantic quagmires, where one person just seems to care more about the relationship than the other? The answer boils down to the principle of least interest. In 1938, sociologist Willard Waller coined this theory on the belief that most couples are not equally committed or invested in a relationship—therefore, the person who is less committed has more control over what happens to the relationship”.

anita