Dear anita,

Thanks a lot for your supporting reply. It was very difficult, and I still feel it is.. to get completely over what happened. I had spent so much time thinking about him and about the things I would like to do for him, that it seems inevitable to not remember him. But I try to also remember how he hurt me so much, and the fact that he just didnt ever bother to try to come back save our relationship.

I dont know if i ever mentioned this before or not, if I did please excuse me and ignore my repetition (I notice I tend to be repetitive when I am hurt). When he visited me the last time, I met him after 10 months, and I leaned over for a kiss (which is normal in our relationship) he stopped me, and when I tried hugging, he pushed me away. Such actions made me feel so unloved that I feel like I will never find anyone in my life, and there were many more similar instances, where he made me feel this way. And being alone for the whole of my life scares the hell out of me – I am a bit cowardly in this.

I know that I should move on. And I thonk after 7-8 months now, I am getting comfortable in my own company, being alone and not feeling lonely. But whenever the thought of future comes in my mind, I feel so uneasy. And I hate to admit this, but a part of me is still hoping that everything will fall into place and he will come back and save our relationship and I will be with him.

Thanks for being there, this forum has given me an opportunity to actually express myself. I do it with my family too, but it is different. I have never been a part of any social media, but this forum has really been important for me.