Dear Klast:

I thought that maybe the reason for my PT (Pulsative Tinnitus) was high blood pressure. In the past, whenever my bp was checked it was always low or normal. The day before yesterday, it was checked and it was normal. I suppose that’s why the doctor suspected a blocked/ twisted artery where the blood flow is disturbed.

“The alcohol probably acted as a sedative“- yes, it makes all kinds of discomforts disappear for a long while, a very welcomed relief. I drink red wine every day. Not that I recommend drinking alcohol (many thousands of people get injured and die every year because of operating under the influence, as you know).

“I have hissing/ringing in my ears pretty much all the time, it fluctuates throughout the day“- I remember the moment I realized that I never hear nothing, I felt claustrophobic in my own body, stuck in a forever- hissing. When I heard the PT, I almost panicked, as in: what if I will always hear that?

Hissing is always there when I am not outdoors with lots of sounds around, and whenever I direct my attention to it.

“For about 2 years after coming home from BC surgery I couldn’t go to sleep on my left side without loud whooshing/pulsing. Later in the night it would go away“- sounds like PT, and that’s after the surgery..

“I might have to stop using the label ‘fate’, maybe BHC, beyond human conception. I get relief in knowing there are big mysteries humanity doesn’t understand yet. That I am just one infinitely small part of it“- I agree with and relate to this.

Three days ago, I read in another thread: Every person has an inexhaustible creative and innovative energy. We can mobilize this energy in order to grow… Daoist saying: ‘When you are ‘sick’, do not seek a cure. Find your centre..  and you will be healed.“- I believe that a person’s center is part of an infinitely bigger energy, energy of a kind that is BHC. The BHC- energy is like the ocean, and each person (animal, plant; organism) is like a single wave rising and then falling back into the ocean. I find relief in this imagery. It feels good to know that I have that creative, innovative energy within me, that I can direct my attention to it in times of feeling helpless, and be helped by it. I noticed that my attention and learning abilities improve when I tap into the BHC-Energy.

“There is no who or what, there just ‘is’. When I am being mindful, I repeat the phrase ‘just be‘ and visualise/imagine other intrusive thoughts disappearing in a ‘thought shredder’. I have a t-shirt with ‘be’ hand written inside a hand drawn circle”- I will visualize a thought shredder next time I try to sleep, and I will repeat Just Be during the day. Thank you.

“I would love to fall through the cracks and stop this fog inducing medication from threatening my drivers license. Hopefully your issues are just related to stress.“- it is very important to keep ourselves as calm as possible.. just be calm, in all kinds of circumstances, best we can. As a rule, Calm Helps, Stress Harms.

I find it meaningful to communicate with you, thank you.

anita