Dear Klast:

“I don’t touch alcohol much, because it will make the brain fog side effect, of my duty of care medication, even stronger… I drive a forklift every day at work. I know how strong the fog is because the couple of times I missed a dose, I had a minor headache but my thoughts were much clearer and stronger than normal. I feel like I am being chemically restrained from fully engaging in life, by a society that is fearful of the effects of my brain damage. Even if I change to another similar drug, my driver’s license would be taken away until the docs thought I was ‘safe’, which could end up being never“-  I am guessing that no doctor or medical facility will support you in getting you off the medication because none wants to be made legally responsible if getting off the medication was to turn out badly for you, there’s a medical- treatment protocol that they are adhering to. I am guessing that if you want to get off the medication, your only option would be to do it without medical counsel and support..?

I was on 3 kinds of psychiatric medications 1995- 2013, including a very difficult kind to get off from: Clonazepam, which is a Benzodiazepine. My first psychiatrist (1995- 2010) gave me the prognosis that I will always need these (or similar) psychiatric medications. Half a dozen of serious efforts to get off those failed. Finally, I got help from a 2nd psychiatrist, and a therapist (2011-13) and succeeded. My thinking is clearer, the fog is gone, and my mental health is way better. I have11 years of psychiatric-medications- freedom. The only disadvantage is that ever since I stopped, I rarely sleep throughout the night, it feels like a miracle when I do.

“After my BC surgery, my medical team was legally supposed to have had my license suspended. Fortunately for me, they knew how hard it would be to get it back. So they trusted me not to drive, and didn’t notify the transport department.  Something I am really thankful for. My current GP said that it was a massive breach of duty of care on their part, and they shouldn’t have done it“- that’s amazing, that your medical team was.. not afraid of legal consequences? I am glad that your D.L was not suspended because no one was hurt and it’s feels good to be trusted, doesn’t it?

“I got over that feeling when I started regularly diaphragmatic breathing, Its sort of like floaters in your eyes, you look through them 99% of the time. Now I only notice my mild PT when things are quiet, and I write it off to ‘just another brain damage side effect’“- I am thinking about cancelling the brain scan (yet to be made) appointment. Because let’s say an artery in my brain is somewhat blocked or twisted: what can be done about it other than brain surgery.. I don’t want a brain surgery for something people can live with, people like you.

“Finding my centre is how I have got myself 4 years ahead of the BC reoccurrence curve“- I hope that you can tell me more about finding your center means to you.

“I visualise BHC like a universe wide cosmic 5th dimension that we are all connected to, like the force in star wars…’… vast, interconnected webs of energy that underlie all physical reality.’ Supposedly animals tap into this directly, humans used to be able to… but we’ve pretty much lost it due to becoming obsessed with technology and ‘stuff’“- yes, I remember now: I too used to think of it as an additional dimension, a dimension that cannot be measured. How do animals tap into it..?

“Our chats have helped me to ground myself. Helped me gather my thoughts for my next therapist session.“- thank you for saying this. Typing out my thoughts in response to a quote from you, then quoting the next part and responding to it (before reading the 3rd), etc.,  makes it possible for me to think in an orderly way/ to process information.

anita