Dear Zenith:

I am fine, thank you! “My little one is giving me a hard time nowadays. Its been happening since last year once she started kindergarten. She keeps throwing fit for every little thing. From waking up in the morning to the time she goes to bed. She wants control over everything she does. Nowadays she  talks back and saying really mean things to us. It’s hurting my mental health“- I am not a professional of any kind, but her behavior reads like ODD.

Cleveland clinic. org: “Oppositional defiant disorder (ODD) is a condition in which your child displays a pattern of uncooperative, defiant and angry behavior toward people in authority. ODD is treatable with psychotherapy and parent management training…

“It’s common for children — especially those two to three years old and in their early teens — to be oppositional or defiant of authority once in a while. They might express their defiance by arguing, disobeying or talking back to adults, including their parents or teachers. When this behavior lasts longer than six months and goes beyond what’s usual for your child’s age, it might suggest that they have ODD…

“Parent management therapy (PMT) is the main treatment for oppositional behaviors. It teaches parents ways to change their child’s behavior in the home by using positive reinforcement to decrease unwanted behaviors and promote healthy behaviors… PMT has been shown to decrease conduct problems in multiple contexts and family backgrounds significantly…”. You can read more about if you are interested.

“Recently, I stopped talking to my neighbor as she is busy with her other set of friends/ group… I put my ego aside, two weeks ago I asked my neighbor to send her kid to our house…. It hurt me so much. I hate her now. I am trying to distance myself from her. But my little one keeps reminding about T. I hate it. She has time to meet her group of friend very often like three four times in a week. But she doesn’t have time for me now. I  am trying to move on but my kid always reminds me about her.“- I know this is a sore point for you and a trigger. And I would feel the same if I was you. Can’t change your neighbor’s behaviors and preferences.. Do you think that the neighbor will respond more favorably to her kid playing with your kid if your husband called her, or called her husband with the suggestion of getting the two kids together?

anita