Dear Anita,

First I must apologise for what I said about how you sound like my wife. It came across a bit mean when I didnt really intend to. I think I got a bit overcome by the Messiah complex.
I’ve been a bit stressed since seeing my therapist, being given all these labels. My BP has gone right up and my GP is getting me to do a raft of tests and scans to eliminate any other physical reasons for my high BP. He put me on medication to lower it, which has a whole raft of side effects itself. It got as high as 150 over 110!.

“knowledge is power“- I think that at times, in some contexts, denial is power.

I think of knowledge as unbiased facts as things are right now. However knowledge has no quantity or quality.
That’s why they say “A little knowledge can be a dangerous thing” because if you think the knowledge you have is all there is, things can end up going bad. “You don’t know, what you don’t know”.
Denial can put a quantity value on knowledge, there could be more knowledge(accomplishing the impossible).
It can also be qualitative, the knowledge could be declared not true(too scary to endure). This is when knowledge stops being factual and becomes lies, untruths. Trump likes to play around with this. Flat earthers etc. “I’ll believe it when I see it”

I think everyone has a world view based on their nature(the qualities we are born with) and nurture(upbringing, education, experiences).
I think if people have bad nurturing in life, and their nature means they can’t make sense of their nurturing ,they will have a low resolution, granular black and white view of the world. My father was like this, we haven’t spoken for 20 years. I remember having a dream yelling at him “Shades of grey, Shades of grey!, things aren’t just black and white!”
Whereas if you are the other way you have a more colourful high resolution world view. You are more aware and accepting of its complexities both known and unknown.

I’ve always had this desire to explore the universe to the fullest extent I can get out of it. Just like I have always felt all the bad things that have happened to me aren’t the be all and end all. I always had this seemingly unlimited wellspring of hope coming from somewhere unknown. Maybe its my physical and psychological arrested development that has blocked the sense of despair and hopelessness that others seem to be afflicted by. The whole power/greed dynamic.

dogs hearing is way more developed than humans, could it be that he heard a change in your breathing as you woke up?

Maybe he was extra observant, the other dogs we’ve had never acted like this.

I’ve always been good with wildlife, I can pick up non venomous reptiles and show them to others, pickup injured birds or other small animals.
One time someone gave us a large wild parrot with a broken leg, we put it in a cage and fed it for three months while it stood on one leg, then one day it lowered its healed leg. After that it would follow me around like a puppy.
People at work always get me to come and rescue some animals that has got itself stuck in a sticky situation.

Of eriksons first 7 stages I am pretty much the same as you. The last line of the forward of that link says
“These stages, however, can be resolved successfully at a later time.”
This is what I think we have both been doing to varying degrees of success, playing catch up to be ready to enter the 8th stage. Accepting how life’s journey played out, all the good and bad, with or without regrets.
Although I do agree that the age boundaries Erik places are a bit strict.

It’s been slow in the forums recently, but this is a place where you can try to help others by replying to other members who ask for help..?

Maybe, life’s been a bit intense recently.

Klast