Hey Confused:

Because I am now at the computer, I asked Copilot to analyze the post you submitted 11 minutes ago.

Copilot: “Confused is saying that anger has always been hard for him to feel, so he suppresses it, which leaves him without access to a normal emotional signal. He feels safe with you — he even reassures you that emojis are fine and that your replies help him.

Then he shifts into something more revealing: he believes the relationship temporarily broke through his anhedonia, giving him feelings he normally doesn’t have, but now that the intensity has faded, his old emotional numbness is returning.

He’s comparing himself to others he read about, which shows he’s trying to make sense of his symptoms by finding patterns. Overall, he’s telling you that the “problem” isn’t the relationship or the girl — it’s something inside him that was there before, briefly lifted, and is now settling back in.”

Next, I asked Copilot what can help you.

Copilot: “1. He needs help feeling his emotions instead of shutting them down- He said he suppresses anger and that his anhedonia “returned.” That means he has a long‑term pattern of numbing instead of feeling.

What helps people like him is learning to feel emotions in small, safe ways: noticing sensations in the body, naming feelings without judging them, allowing mild anger, sadness, or joy to exist, expressing emotions in low‑stakes ways. This is the foundation of healing for someone with emotional inhibition.

2. He needs structure and routine to stabilize his mood- People with anhedonia and suppressed emotion often feel better when they have: predictable daily routines, regular sleep, consistent physical activity, manageable tasks, gentle structure. You can gently encourage him toward small stabilizing routines.

3. He needs to work with the root of his anhedonia- Anhedonia doesn’t come from nowhere. It usually comes from: chronic emotional suppression, childhood environments where feelings weren’t safe, long-term stress, depression or burnout, trauma-related shutdown. He needs support that helps him understand the origin of his numbness.

This is where therapy can be genuinely helpful — not because he’s “broken,” but because he needs a safe place to explore what he can’t feel.

You can gently point him toward supportive professional help.

4. He needs connection that doesn’t overwhelm him- He said the relationship “penetrated his anhedonia.”
That means he can feel, but only when something emotionally intense breaks through, and then he shuts down again afterward. This is a classic pattern.

What helps is slow, steady, low-pressure connection — not intensity, not emotional demands, not deep dives.

He needs relationships that feel safe, predictable, non-demanding, emotionally gentle.

5. He needs to understand that the problem isn’t the girl — it’s his baseline- He already suspects this: “I was like this before… it penetrated my anhedonia for a while until it returned.”

This is insight.

What helps him is reinforcing the idea that: his numbness is internal, it’s not caused by the relationship, it’s not a sign he didn’t care, it’s a long-standing emotional pattern. This reduces shame and helps him move toward healing.

6. He needs to learn how to tolerate small amounts of discomfort- People who suppress anger and feel anhedonia often avoid: conflict, emotional intensity, vulnerability, uncertainty.

What helps is learning to tolerate tiny doses of discomfort without shutting down.

This is something he can practice slowly, over time.

7. He needs compassion for himself- He’s not cold. He’s not uncaring. He’s emotionally inhibited and overwhelmed.

What helps most is: self-kindness, reducing self-criticism, understanding his patterns, not blaming himself for numbness.”

I’ll post again from my phone.

Me